Humor Archives

24 December 2006Christmastime For the Jews
Daily Show reruns are dancing in my head! Thanks for the link, Bri....
19 December 2006So Bad, It's Good
One ......... cut a hole in the box Two ......... put your junk in that booxxxx!!! Three ....... make her open that box And that's the way you do it IT"S MY DICK IN BOX!!!! I know this video...
01 March 2006Lazy Day
One of the funniest things I've ever seen is the "Lazy Sunday" Chronicles of Narnia rap from SNL. Even better is the West Coast repsonse "Lazy Monday" Color Me Mine rap. Hillarious. Hillarious. Hillarious. Probably most people have seen these...
28 February 2006Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, either a) you are heavily sedated, b) you have no sense of humor or c) you are Chuck Norris. Don't forget to leaf through page 2....
15 November 2005Ask Your Doctor About Panexa
This pretty much sums up what I feel about pharma advertising. SIDE EFFECTS Most patients (2%) tolerate treatment with PANEXA well, especially when compared with prisoners of war of comparable size and weight. However, like all drugs, PANEXA can produce...
04 May 2005CONGRATULATIONS!!!YOU HAVE WON!!
In the last week I have been inundated by obviously fraudulent emails explaining how I just won a lottery I never signed up for and never heard of. It's amazing to me that anyone would fall for this stuff, but...
19 April 2005Good Money is on the Nigerian to Win
Want to get some action on the conclave? Just head over to paddypower.com, check out the odds, the candidates, fill yourself in on the process and the history of papal elections. Cardinal Francis Arinze of Nigeria is the front runner,...
12 April 2005Life No Longer Worth Living
Cost Of Living Now Outweighs Benefits WASHINGTON, DC - A report released Monday by the Federal Consumer Quality-Of-Life Control Board indicates that the cost of living now outstrips life's benefits for many Americans. "This is sobering news," said study director...
04 April 2005Alternatives for Today's Teens
Growing up in the Culture of Life astinance only education dominated America has its drawbacks, but one website offers alternatives for teenagers: Techinal Virgin.com We know that today's teens are faced with difficult choices more than ever before. The spectre...
01 April 2005But This Is
This guy has some serious balls and this woman is completely fucking nuts....
24 March 2005Once Again, Tom Gets it Right
If you don't love Tom Tomorrow's This Modern World, you've either never heard of him, you have no sense of humor, or you're a conservative (probably the latter). His latest effort rips into the President Bush's propoganda machine(here, too). I've...
07 February 2005Stop Perpetrating Like This Shit Ain't Funny
Ok, so it maybe it was the vodka tonics talking, but a few of us were pouring over the Urban Dictionary late (and I mean really late) on Saturday night, and I laughing so hard I almost coughed up some...
18 January 2005The Worst Joke Ever
Lauren, one of the two people who are the driving force behind the ski lease, told this joke on Friday night. It killed all conversation dead. How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and...
16 January 2005How Crazy Would I Have to Make My Signature?
I'm always curious about credits cards and security, especially these days when it's so easy to use a credit card without any ID. I'm not overly concerned about because the credit card companies take all the risk. They must have...
14 January 2005They Don't Say Please In Israel
Feeling hungry? Then you have to check out this commercial for the latest in McDonald's offering in Israel, the McSwarma. The commercial plays on the famous MCD conversation between Vincent and Jules in Pulp Fiction (who can forget Royale with...
13 January 2005Snow Fun
Don't eat yellow snow....
24 December 2004If Cats Could Blog
Cat log, day 752 and counting... DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps...
08 December 2004Currency Markets Hate Freedom
27 October 2004Finally, A Democrat With a Backbone
Lawrence O'Donnell, the moderate Democratic commentator, was on Scarborough Country with Swift Boat front man and long time Kerry adversary John O'Neill and just comlpetely slammed him. You can see the video on the Daily Recycler, but what's more interesting...
14 October 2004Late Night Humor
From the "Late Show with David Letterman", via the Associated Press: Top Ten President Bush Explanations For The Bulge In His Jacket 10. "It's connected to an earpiece so Cheney can feed me answers -- crap, I wasn't supposed to...
13 October 2004The Real Story of the Election
2004 Election Guide...
06 October 2004The Brilliance of Le Show
There's one thing that fans of Harry Shearer can all agree on. He's wickedly funny. For those who love his work on The Simpsons and in movies like This is Spinal Tap might not even know that he does a...
27 September 2004Go Ahead. Kick Some Ass!
Presidential Knockout...
22 September 2004Eerie Parallels
TT cuts through the BS like a hot knife through, well, BS. You can check out his blog at www.thismodernworld.com. You have to take a look at this entry about the current president's rugby adventures at Yale....
17 September 2004Good For a Laugh
It's Friday and a time for a good laugh courtesy of the guy who hired me back at Electronic Arts. Ok, so this might not make you laugh out loud (then again, maybe it will), but it will surely put...
25 December 2003No Virginia, There Isn't a Santa Claus
This is what happens when geek (and probably Jewish) engineering students at places like Cal Tech and MIT have too much time on their hands. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did....
21 December 200313 Holiday Distinctions
This list is for my gentile friends who would like to know more about the subtle distinction between Christian and Jewish holiday celebrations. This list comes from my friend and former colleague in Samoa, Deb Miesing. 1. Christmas is one...
09 November 2003Awaken All Ye Spirits
You might not be aware of this (I myself wasn't until recently), but yesterday was the Harmonic Concordance. Harmonic Concordance? Yes, the Harmonic Concordance. Remember the Harmonic Convergance? Recall that moment of spiritual awakening? Just in case you missed it,...
04 November 2003Unkosher Shoes
Check out these "cloven" hoof shoes. They are the Air Rift running shoes from Nike. Jesus Christ, who would wear these things? At least they're not tacky. I wonder if they come in gold... Tip of the hat to Rachel...
01 November 2003Sex in The City
Students Expelled For Making Sex Video This wouldn't a news story of any particular interest to me, however, the students who made the sex tape, and were subsequently expelled, were from Stephen S. Wise Temple's Milken High School in LA....
15 October 2003W Accomlishments
The White House, USA GEORGE W. BUSH ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: I attacked and took over two countries. I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury. I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history (not easy!)....
01 October 2003Makelani Demonstrates Safe Packing Procedures for Felines
20 August 2003Al Franken In Sorry State
Comedian apologizes to Ashcroft for "imprudent attempt at satire" AUGUST 20--Comedian Al Franken last month wrote an apology letter to Attorney General John Ashcroft, admitting that he was not truthful when he previously sought Ashcroft's views on abstinence. Read...
11 August 2003The Dullest Blog in the World
Stop by the The Dullest Blog in the World if you want laugh out loud. It could be that my threshold for humor has slipped during my ten months on Samoa, but this is damn funny......
09 August 2003I Might Already Have Won 1 Million Dollars
I got another one of those Nigerian scam emails this week. This one is fascinating. Apparently one of my relatives living in Nigeria, a man by the name of Allan Hecht was killed in car crash (I didn't know I...
24 July 2003Klepto Cat
I love this story, for the obvious reasons. This Cat Burglar Is Really a Cat SIMI VALLEY, Calif. - A cat burglar's booty is being hoarded in a Ventura County home. A marauding feline named Midnight — now dubbed Klepto...
18 July 2003Excel from Dummies
The email below was forwared to me by a good friend of mine who went to Yale where he met no shortage of whackos, oddballs and misfits masquerading as America's finest young intellectuals and scholars. I can't decide whether this...
17 July 2003They had but one last remaining night together...
"They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white ... Mozzarella, although it...
11 July 2003Say Goodbye To Mosquito Bites!
Are you one of those people that spend long hours outdoors? Do you ever wish pesky mosquitoes would just leave you alone? What if you could carry a compact device specially designed to eliminate mosquitoes from biting you? Now you...
03 July 2003Recipe for a Chuckle
1) Go to Google 2) Type in "weapons of mass destruction" 3) Hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button 4) Read results of search If you don't laugh at this you're either a Republican or you have no sense of humor...
30 June 2003Today is National Blonde Day
National Blonde Day is sponsored by the Blonde Legal Defense Club whose mission it is "to stop the widespread belief that blondes are dumb and incapable." Now, who would think something horrible like that? The mission continues to say...
24 June 2003Behold the Oracle of Starbucks
Got nothing to do? Check out the "The Oracle of Starbucks" at http://www.buttafly.com/starbucks/index.php. I don't think the oracle ever has anything good to say. It seems to suggests that if you frequent Starbucks, you're either, lame, clueless or an asshat,...
17 June 2003Having A Bad Day?
This is just too funny not to share....
30 May 2003Nigerian Scam Response
This morning I got a response from the mysterious Dr. Fibu of the Nigerian money scam. It's really wonderful what you can do when you have full access to your own email account. Here's what Dr. Fibu has to say...
13 May 2003Nigerian Money Scam
I love getting these requests for money to be sent to Nigeria. The latest one is from some guy named Dr. Fibu representing something called the "Nigerian Federal Government Contract Review Panel." Dr. Fibu is trying to "raise" money for...
24 April 2003New Fox Reality Show To Determine Ruler Of Iraq
LOS ANGELES–Fox executives Monday unveiled their latest reality-TV venture, Appointed By America, a new series in which contestants vie for the top spot in Iraq's post-war government. "Get ready, America, because you're about to choose the man–or woman–who will lead...
20 April 2003Will the Real Hussein Please Stand Up?
Here's a little piece of fun I came across on the net today. It's a flash parody of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady" featuring America's favorite dictator, Saddam Hussein. http://www.toccionline.com/creations/realhussein/index.html If you don't want to download the flash piece, you...