My Sysiphean Nightmare
When we woke in the morning on Sunday, the snow was coming down hard and the wind was hurtling gusts over 50 miles an hour against the side of the condo. It was a pretty easy decision not to ski. Only a handful of lifts were open anyway. Even though the snow would have been great, visibility of nothing and the threat of the being blown off the lift was enough to keep us inside, toasty and warm.
We made a huge brunch and debated about the best time to leave, all the while continually checking with Caltrans to make the roads were still open. The last time we called around 11:15, just before we took off, highway 50 was open. It was time to go. We'd at least make it home for the Academy Awards which started in 6 hours, right? Not quite. We didn't hit Emeryville, my town just across the bay from San Francisco until 9:30. Here's the tale of My Sysiphean Nightmare.
The first thing you have to navigate when you leave the covered garage at the condo is a steep, icy, now snow covered driveway. When I came in on Friday night, it was so slick, the Subie couldn't make it on the first try, even in 1st gear. I had to back it up down the street and get some speed to haul up the hill. Coming down, the brakes locked up and started skidding. It was a damn good thing there wasn't a car turning the corner or I would have plowed right into it. I pumped the brakes and got the care under control, but that only kept me out of the snow bank across the way. I should have taken this as a bad omen and gone back inside. But, what can I say? I'm an idiot.
It was smooth sailing down the 207 to the lake and there was the typical traffic on the 50 past the casinos and across the stateline. There's snow everywhere. Californians and toursits don't know to drive in the snow, so I'm on edge. I'll stay on that for roughly the next 8 hours.
Right after you get into California, you can make a left turn on th Pioneer trail which is a shortcut to Meyers, the last Tahoe town before you start heading up into the hills and back to civilization. This is where the problem started.
Once we hit the Pioneer Trail it was bumper to bumper. It normally takes about 15 minutes to navigate it without traffic. After an hour we hadn't hit the T intersection at the 50 and the traffic came to a complete standstill. We called Caltrans. The 50 was closed indefinitely for avalance control. Fuck me. This was going to be a long day.
So, we could either sit and wait, not knowing for how long, or make a U-ey, head back to town and wait it out. We chose the latter. Don't let me forget the whole time it is just dumping snow. The wind wouldn't let down. Huge gusts of wind blew the snow that accumulated on the road and in the trees into these veils of misery. But that's why they invented heated seats.
Back in Tahoe, we went to a bookstore, shopped for skiis, grabbed some snacks (unagi avocado rolls for me) at the market, had a coffee to get cafffiened up. After an hour, we called Caltrans again. The road was back open. Time to jet It was just after 1pm.
Back to Pioneer Trail and the cars are barely moving. The weather has let up a bit and the sun even makes an appearance, but it's just a tease. Cars coming in the are , getting stuck in the massive snowbanks that have built up. We we're going nowhere. I had plenty of time to take . I guess it could have been worse. I could have not had sushi.
It took us almost two hours to make the T at the 50. The culprit? The . I thought it must have been an accident, but I was wrong. I was wrong a lot this day.
The next thing I was wrong about was chain control. I thought for certain that after we hit chain control, the traffic speed would pick up. Not so much. Chain control was right in , just a few hundred meters after the T. The Subaru got waved through, no chains needed, which I why I have it, and it was just a crawl up and over to Placerville.
How bad was it? Normally it takes a little more than an hour to run the 60 or so miles from Meyers to Placerville. We didn't hit the In 'N Out on Forni Road just past downtown Plaverville until 7:07. There were points when we were going 4 miles an hour and saw a sign that read "4 miles to the next passing lane". I nearly cried thinking it was going to take us an hour at that rate to reach a fucking passing lane. It was worse when the traffic just stopped. People got out of their cars to stretch. I got out to remove the ice from my wipers. This is was just a nightmare.
The rest of the way was mostly a soggy mess. Didn't even get ski and missed the Academy Awards. I did have some great sushi followed by a Double Double and a cheesburger at In 'N Out, but that hardly made up for the suffering.
This was about as close to my idea of hell if ever it existed. Here's what it would take to complete the picute:
1) You would never arrive at your destination.
2) You would never go faster than 13 miles per hour.
3) You would be driving stick and constanting switching between 1st and 2nd gear.
4) There were only 3 radio stations that came through. The first was Country & Western. The second was right wing talk radio. The third was evangelical preachers. No commercials.
5) Your windshield wipers would work perfectly except for a two square foot area in front of your face making it impossible to see. It would never stop snowing.
6) The engine made an irritating high pitched whine whenever you hit 13 miles an hour.
7) You are on the edge of falling asleep.
8) No heat. No Defrost.
9) The driver side windows is leaking from the top and water is building up in your left sock.
10) You have a take a leak really badly and you're not wearing your astronaut diapers.
11) Chapped lips. No chapstick.
Another great trip to . Here are the highlights:
