April 30, 2005

Freezing My Tuchus Off

The last weekend of the season should be a warm funfest basking in mid 50s blue sunny gloriously languid days of skiing. That wasn't how it worked out last year in Vail when we had ice storms and freezing winds on the last day of the season and it's not how it seems to be unfolding here in Tahoe.

Today there was some sunshine, and when the sun graced us with its presence, it was quite lovely, but more often than not, good ole sole would hide behind fast moving ominous black clouds. Normally this wouldn't be such a problem. The snow was perfect, which is was unexpected this time of year, but since I was determined to have a serious spring day, I wore only one of my old Samoan shirts on my torso and was colder than a popsicle in the deep freeze.

In the afternoon, when Russell quit to set up the barbeque and Kristen left to check out the band playing at the Gondola, it only got worse, even after I had gone down to the car with them to grab a sweater. I skied a few more runs and then made my way to the top of the gondola the watch the pond skimming contest.

Last year, I went to Vail's World Alpine Pond Skimming Championships. It was a big deal. There were sponsors, there were announcers, there were judges, tons of be costumed contestants, and a massive pool of clean, cold mountain water over which they all tried to skim. Heavenly, in comparison, was a sad joke.

The pond was just that, a small dirty pond. It was maybe 30 feet long and 15 wide. It was lined with a black glad bag, but it must have been punctured because dirt had seeped in from somewhere leaving a pool of brown water. There were no judges. There didn't seem to be any rules. The pond was so short that most of the contestants came screaming across it, spraying the assembled fans with water or piling into the "protective" webbing at the edge of the pond.

It was cold. It started snowing a little even. I gave up after about 20 people went over with about 75% of the folks making it across the way.

I took with my microcompact Canon S400. It overcast and they didn't come out all that but it will give the flavor of the event.

Days Skied This Season: 24

April 29, 2005

Last Tahoe Weekend

Heading up to Tahoe for the last weekend of what has been a truly awesome season. I don't know how much skiing is going to happen, but there is definitely going to be a lot of drinking and foolishness. Should be fun.

Down to Eight Lives

Down to Eight LivesI almost had a heart attack last night. I think anyone would have likely had some palpitations under the circumstances. It was brought on, of course, by my shithead and extremely lucky Samoan cat, Makelani.

I've documented Mak's inferior intellect multiple times on this site. Earlier in the evening, in a typical Mak event, he stuck his head in the handle of a brown paper bag and since he couldn't figure out how to extricate himself, he just dragged the bag around the apartment as if nothing was wrong.

Around 7:30 or so, I let the cats out on the balcony for their evening perambulation. I watered the little basil that I bought, and stood on the left end of the railing to prevent Fil, my female cat, from jumping onto the roof and escaping, which she has done several times.

When it came time to herd the cats back into the apartment, I grabbed Fil first because she's the troublemaker. I put her inside and as I shut the door and turned to get Mak, I could him see crouching down, going into the butt-wiggle, I'm about to the leap on the roof and there's nothing you can do to stop me, mutherfucka. Everything that followed sort of happened in slow motion.

I usually leave Mak out on the railing and put Fil inside first because while not having two brain cells to keep each other warm, Mak has always been on the cautious side. Some would say chickenshit, but I give him the benefit of the doubt and say cautious. But something snapped in his little brain. For a second, Mak thought he could fly. He forgot about three things. First, he's a nine pound cat and not a hummingbird. Second, the Theory of Gravity. Third, and most important, the little balcony railing that he was on is 35 feet above the ground.

As I stood there in the doorway, I saw Mak jump up to the sloping roof, desperately try to hang on the ledge, fail and disappear from sight, falling at roughly 9.8 meters per second per second. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! MY CAT JUST FELL THREE STORIES TO THE GROUND!!

I ran to the balcony and looked down. Mak was down there, walking around and mewing like a crazed beast. I ran out the door, down the stairs and outside where I found a freaked out Mak, tail poofed out about three times normal size, covered in mud and looking for a way to get back in the building.

I swooped him up and whisked him upstairs, all the while trying to calm him down, to no avail. Other than being slathered in mud, he didn't seem to have any major damage. I was shocked.

Back inside I put him on the floor and watched him walk around. He was walking with a pronounced limp, favoring his hind right leg. I tired to pick him back him. He wasn't happy. I prodded him and pushed him to look for sore or broken spots. He was tender for sure. He didn't want me touching his hid leg. He was sore under his forearms. But didn't seem broken. He's a fucking tough cat. Coming from Samoa, the land of people impervious to pain, that's not hard to believe. (Twice when I was in was living in the village, I had a host brother who broke a foot, had it reset by a masseuse and was walking around on it the next day as if nothing had happened).

Everything seemed fine, but I wanted to take him to the vet just to be sure. But it was late now, after 8 o'clock and all the vet offices in Alameda were closed. I could take him to the emergency hospital in San Leandro, but it's ten miles away, and Mak doesn't travel all that well so with the all the trauma that he'd suffered already, I didn't want to have to pile it on if I didn't have to.


I gave Makkie a sponge bath and cleaned him up a little and went off to a dark corner of the house to lick his wounds. He was eating. That was a good sign. I could hear go in and out of the litter box twice. That was positive too. He could leap from the ground to the couch and from there to the condo. Everything seemed good.

Then he came to sit in map, like normal, except, he wasn't normal. He was shaking ever so slightly, more than his normal high octane purr. I got worried. I thought, fuck, if something is really wrong with him and I didn't have him looked at by a professional when I had the chance, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

So, I grabbed him, took him downstairs and into the car. He started freaking immediately, as he normally does anytime he gets anywhere near my car. I gave him some treats which calmed him down, but he kept a low grade caterwaul all the way to the Bay Area Veterinary Specialists.

Inside Mak was calm, which was surprised. I borrowed a pet taxi to keep him from running around or coming into contact with a dog, so nothing bad happened. I was asked into the exam room. A tech came in asked me a bunch of questions about what happened, and gave him a cursory check, including an anal temperature reading that might have been more traumatic than the fall. I know if someone scruffed me by the neck and jammed a rod up my ass, I wouldn't have been in a cooperative mood.

The doc came in, felt Makkie up, watching him walk around and declared that nothing was broken. There was a possibility of internal damage, but since he was eating and using the litter box, it was unlikely. He was probably just sore and in pain and prescribed a liquid pain killer to ease his suffering and help him heal.

I was so relieved. Nothing major wrong. Almost even better, no overnight stay, no x-rays, no bandages. I got away with a $110 bill, happily paid and went home, a sedate Makkie in the back making no one peep.

Mak has to be one of the luckiest cats in the world. First he was saved from a life of torture at the hands of village idiot kids in a remote part of Samoa by some soft hearted human. Now he survived a 35 foot fall without a scratch, only some residual soreness and damaged pride.

Needless to say, balcony privileges have been permanently revoked and it's time for me to find a more suitable place for me and the cats to reside.

Hummingbird

Hummingbird Blogging
I was walking in the parking garage from my car to the elevator when I crossed paths with this woman coming from the opposite direction who was looking at me funny like she wanted to say something, like "hello", but didn't know how to open her mouth when she says, have you seen the hummingbird nest, and points over my left shoulder.

I turned around and looked up and saw the tinniest of nests suspended in midair from a couple of looping ropes that were wrapped around the pipes that run the breadth and width of the garage ceiling. Inside was a hummingbird, so still that at first I thought it wasn't alive, that it was a doll or something, but when I moved closer I could see the tiniest of movements, the little was shaking.

This minuscule bird had built a nest suspended from the ceiling in my parking garage in Alameda. I had never seen anything like it. I snapped off a few pics and when I finally figured out how to focus on the tiny object, this was the result.

April 28, 2005

The More You Look, The Less You Really Know

Tony ShalhoubTony Shalhoub has a leading role in the USA series Monk about an obsessive-compulsive private eye, but to me he will always be a character actor, and a great one.

Shaloub is so versatile that fans who love his work in Monk will not recognize him in many of his roles. Most people will recall him as Jeebs, the alien who got his head blown off in Men in Black. He had a memorable role in Life or Something Like It as the prescient Prophet Jack and was on the bridge as Tech Sgt. Chen in the Star Trek spoof Galaxy Quest.

These roles are many and varied but hardly represent Shalhoub's finest work. To find his quintissential roles you have to look to the Coen Brothers who recognize the brilliance of Shalhoub.

I first saw Shaloub as the slick tough-talking studio producer Ben Geisler in Barton Fink. He fits into that early Hollywood 40s archetype so effortlessly. Contrary to the meek Adrian Monk viewers have come to love, he runs roughshod over the cowering, insecure Barton Fink on the business of writing a wrestling picture and it's great. He steals every scene he's in.

In The Man Who Wasn't There, Shalhoub portrays high-powered defense attorney Freddy Riedenschneider, possibly the best supporting character ever seen on film. Shalhoub's Riedenschneider is cocky beyond belief and he has some many great lines. The Joel and Ethan Coen wrote inspired dialogue and Shalhoub brought it the screen with unbelievable panache. Riedenschneider arrives like a tornado in the middle of the movie after a murder has been committed, and simply takes over and starts laying down the law.

MAN ...not fried, poached. Three of 'em for two minutes. A strip steak medium rare, flapjacks, potatoes, tomato juice, and plenty of hot coffee.

He flips the menu over

MAN
...Do you have prairie oysters?

WAITRESS
No, sir.

MAN
Then bring me a fruit cocktail while I wait.

He looks up at Ed

MAN
...You're Ed Crane?

ED
Yeah--

MAN
Barber, right? I'm Freddy Riedenschneider. Hungry? They tell me the chow's OK here. I made some inquiries.

ED
No thanks, I--

The waitress sets a fruit cocktail in front of Riedenschneider

RIEDENSCHNEIDER
Look, I don't wanna waste your time so I'll eat while we talk. Ya mind? *You* don't mind. So while I'm in town I'll be staying at the Hotel Metropole, the Turandot Suite. Yeah, it's goofy, the suites're named after operas; room's OK though, I poked around. I'm having 'em hold it for me on account of I'll be back and forth. In addition to my retainer, you're paying hotel, living expenses, secretarial, private eye if we need to make inquiries, headshrinker should we go that way. We'll talk about appeals if, as and when. For right now, has she confessed?

ED
No. Of course not. She didn't do it.

RIEDENSCHNEIDER
Good! That helps. Not that she didn't do it, that she didn't confess. Of course, there's ways to deal with a confession, but that's good!--one less thing to think about. Now. Interview. I'm seeing her tomorrow. You should be there. Three o'clock. One more thing: you keep your mouth shut. I get the lay of the land, I tell *you* what to say. No talking out of school. What's out of school? Everything's out of school. I do the talking; you keep your trap shut. I'm an attorney, you're a barber; you don't know anything. Understood?

ED
...OK.

RIEDENSCHNEIDER
Good! Any questions give me a ring--Turandot suite; if I'm out leave a message. You sure you don't want anything? No?

He points a finger at Ed

RIEDENSCHNEIDER
...You're OK, pal. You're OK, she's OK. Everything's gonna be hunky-dory.

The waitress puts down a plate of steak and eggs

RIEDENSCHNEIDER
...And the flapjacks, honey.


Here's his take on the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle that forms the kernel of his defense.
...They got this guy, in Germany. Fritz something-or-other. Or is it. Maybe it's Werner. Anyway, he's got this theory, you wanna test something, you know, scientifically--how the planets go round the sun, what sunspots are made of, why the water comes out of the tap--well, you gotta look at it. But sometimes, you look at it, your looking *changes* it. Ya can't know the reality of what happened, or what *would've* happened if you hadden a stuck in your goddamn schnozz. So there *is* no 'what happened.' Not in any sense that we can grasp with our puny minds. Because our minds...our minds get in the way. Looking at something changes it. They call it the 'Uncertainty Principle.' Sure, it sounds screwy, but even Einstein says the guy's on to something. Science. Perception. Reality. Doubt... ...Reasonable doubt. I'm sayin', sometimes, the more you look, the less you really know. It's a fact. A proved fact. In a way, it's the only fact there is. This heinie even wrote it out in numbers.


It's priceless. And there's so much more. I could post the whole thing, but I don't really have the time or the inclination. If you really want to get the full taste of Tony Shalhoub at his best, see the movie or read the screenplay.

The Mighty Have Fallen

The poor, poor, sad-ass Dodgers, once possessors of the best record in baseball have lost 6 of 7 games including being swept in the last three by the Arizona Diamondbacks. Over that span their run production has fallen in half, their era has doubled and they not only have relinquished the best record in the MLB but no longer even have the lead in the National League West. The start that looked so promising was merely a mirage meant to give stalward fans a false sense of hope, much in the way the Dodgers have been doing for most of their history with notable exceptions (55,58,63,81,88). The season is still young and the Dodgers' dismal last week might yet prove an aberration.

He's Good Enough. He's Smart Enough. But Doggone It, Do People Like Him?

Word is that Al Franken is considering a run for a Minnesota Senate seat in 2008 against Republican Norm Coleman. It's a long way off and who knows if he can win, but it would be great for Minnesota and for the country.

Coleman, a former Democrat, who garners great support from Bush, Cheney & Co. would never have even been a senator had extremely popular incumbent Paul Wellstone not died in a plane crash just 11 days before the 2002 election. If Franken could unseat him, it will go a long way to returning the Senate to the hands of the Democrats.

April 27, 2005

Nick Anderson, Editorial Artist

Nick Anderson

If you get a kick out political cartoons like I do, you'll want to check out the work of Nick Anderson from the Louisville Courier-Journal.

Anderson won the Pulitzer Prize for a series of 20 scathing cartoons about current events including abuses of power, the quagmire in Iraq and the missteps of the present administration, which, I suppose, are all the same thing. He beat out Garry Trudeau for the $10,000 prize, so you know his stuff is good. His cartoons are richly drawn with beautiful color and reveal not only biting satire, but also potent wit while elucidating serious problems that deeply affect this country.

You can find all his cartoons here. If you want to read more cartoons by other editorial artists, Slate.com has a great archive.

CSS Bug Fixed

I'm bugging me for a long time now, but I finally have this nasty CCS bug fixed. When I converted my site over from the old html tables layout and converted it to a CSS (Cascading Style Sheet) design conforming to web standards, everything was cool, except this one little problem. I had a two column layout, one for the main content and one for the navigation sidebar. Whenever the content in the sidebar was longer than the content of the navigation, the sidebar would run over the bottom border and over the footer. It looked horrible and made feel like a crappy designer.

But, now, with the help of Web Standards Solutions, I've fixed this problem and the site, while still not perfect, works a hell of lot better. I'm still having a problem with some spacing in the header when the site is viewed in IE. It works perfectly in Firefox, yet another reason for everyone in the world to scrap Microsoft's lousy browser and move into the 21st century with a browser that works the way a browser should.

April 26, 2005

There Can Be Little or No Compromise

However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in 'A,' 'B,' 'C,' and 'D.' Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of 'conservatism.'

Who do you think spoke those words? Some wild-eyed Democrat? Some hellbound atheist? Not quite. It was Senator Barry Goldwater, torch bearer of the Republican party and it's nominee for the presidency in 1964. Would he recognize the GOP today? Would he be accepted within its ranks? Doubtful.

April 23, 2005

Staying Home

Last night was the first Friday night since the first week of the season that I slept in my own bed. I've either been skiing or traveling almost every weekend this year, so it was really nice to change things up, not have to go anywhere and sleep in.

There's only a few days left in the ski season. We did get more snow this past week, but it was an inch or so, and it just didn't seem worth it to go up to the house in Tahoe. No one else RSVP'd and the house would have been empty again. Then there's always the possibility like last Sunday that the Sky Chair would be closed. And that's a problem.

When the Sky Chair is closed, and it was closed for a good reason, namely 60 MPH gusts, there is no way to ski from the California side of Heavenly to the Nevada side. This traps skiers in a bottleneck at the Canyon Express that results in long lifts lines on a day when there should be none. It also means that half of the terrain on the top of the mountain, where the best snow can be found on increasingly hot days, is inaccessible.

Now you can ski down, get in the car, and drive over to Nevada, but that's not much fun. If you're game, you can hike from the top of the Canyon Express to the top of the Sky chair. It might take 45 minutes or so. Maybe less. It's really not that far, but it is a hike. Then you can ski down the cat track to Nevada and take any of three chairs back from Nevada to California. I was down for this, Russell, who took a hard digger the day before was not, so we just skied for the few hours and then took off in the early afternoon.

I'll be up next weekend, the last of the season for Heavenly. I want to ski to get the last few runs before the long drought of summer. We're also having a blowout party, so it should be pretty wild.

Days Skied This Season: 23

April 22, 2005

Makelani's Big Day Out

Makelani's Big Day OutI finally took Mak out for a walk last night. It was his first time out of the house, other than hanging out on the balcony, since he escaped while I was carving a pumpkin last Halloween. He needed it. He's starting to look portly and he needs some exercise.

Typically, there was tons of activity on my street, exactly what I didn't need with a nervous cat on my hands. After I carried him downstairs, I put him on the grass and he was freaking out at every little sign of movement. There were some people walking in the garage. There were some cars in the street. There were some guys playing hoops at the little court down the way. Any chance I had of coaxing him down the sidewalk was lost.

So I picked him up and carried him to the shoreline/mudflat/jetty thing that's at the end of the street. The whole time Mak is caterwauling like I'm taking him to the kitty abattoir. He only calmed down when I put him in the ice plant and let him explore, but just barely.

The whole time he kept his belly to the ground and slinked through the vegetation like the WWII in the hedges of Normandy. The sounds of the baseball game at the high school and the squawking birds and my shuffling feet would sent him for cover. He continued to meow like he was having a near death experience.

After about ten or fifteen minutes, he calmed down enough to do some rock climbing over the jumbled pile of concrete that forms the jetty. He wanted to poke his little head into every nook and cranny, nose constantly vibrating, sniffing the shit out of everything he could find. I think he might actually have been enjoying himself at that point.

When it came time to head home, he was a champ, more or less. Still with his belly scraping the pavement, he let me lead him right back to the apartment building, crossing the street twice and stopping only once to play around in the ivy. He flew up the stairs and when we reached my floor, he zipped down the hallway right to my door. Inside we cleaned himself for a few minutes and them crashed, hard.

I don't know if I'll take him out anytime soon. The whole experience was enough to give both of us a heart attack.

Protecting the Rights of Pharmacists

This morning I was listening to a debate right now on KQED about whether or not pharmacists have a right not to fill legal prescriptions based on their personal morals and values. Basically this topic has come up because there have been some pharmacists not filling birth control prescriptions and not selling people condoms. Some of these pharmacists have even harassed their customers and even withheld the actual prescription so that it could be fulfilled elsewhere. This is totally outrageous.

Pharmacists should not be substituting their "professional judgment" for the that of the doctor and the patient. They have no fucking business doing any such thing no matter what their conscious tells them. Their job is ensure that legal prescriptions are filled accurately and in a timely fashion. Anything short of that should be grounds for decreditation. As long as these drugs are legal and deemed to be safe by the FDA they have an obligation to provide them to anyone with a prescription. If they have a problem with that then they shouldn't be pharmacists. Period. End of story.

It's shocking to me that this is even an issue. Democrats in the Senate are dancing around it by trying to work both sides, granting pharmacists their "rights" not to fill any Rx's they find morally objectionable while holding that the pharmacy itself is responsible for making sure that the Rx gets filled. This is silliness.

Something really needs to be done to end the empowerment of the faith based community that manifests itself in harassing 16 year old girls trying to obtain birth control pills. Hopefully this is just another example of the right going way to far that the left will be able to bludgeon them with in the mid term elections. Terri Schiavo, refusniks pharmacists, anti-abortionist bombers. It's enough to drive an atheist insane.

April 21, 2005

The Joys of Greek Yogurt

I first came across Greek yogurt when I was traveling around the Mediterranean about 5 years ago. It was towards the end of the trip. I was in Istanbul staying in the Oriental, a little youth hostel in the Sultanahmet section of town. The hostel had a restaurant on the third floor that had a commanding view of the Bosporus. I would sit up just after sunrise, watch the ships go by and enjoy a leisurely breakfast that almost every day had a good portion of lovely Greek yogurt.

The yogurt is rich, thick and creamy, probably really fatty too, but what the fuck did I care? I was walking more than 10 miles a day. It's incredibly sour and I can't imagine eating it straight, but with the magic touch of a little, it turns into something incredibly sublime. Breakfast quickly became my favorite part of the week or so I spent hanging around Istanbul.

When I returned home, I thought I add my new discovery into my own culinary routine. I went to the market, grabbed and tub of vanilla yogurt and jar of honey, but when I got home and mixed, there was no magic, there was just a sticky mess of yogurt encrusted honey crystals. I tried a few more times, but eventually gave up.

One of the best things about returning to California after the spending the winter in Vail was access to Trader Joe's. Around the time I started shopping at TJ's again, they started carrying Greek yogurt. At first they had a brand called FAGE which is actually made in Greece. They had two kinds, one with a little pocket of honey that could be easily added and one without.

At first I bought the one with the honey because, well, it was easier, but it was also more expensive. So then I started buying the larger one without the honey. But TJ's didn't sell jars of Greek honey. The first honey I tried, which I think was clover, didn't work. It totally crystallized. The next one I tired, the mesquite, blended perfectly. It was delicious and I was so happy. Then they stopped carrying the yogurt.

I was couldn't believe it. The yogurt was so popular. There was always a chance you could in the store and it would be out of stock. I called TJ's customer service to find out what was going on. They said their distributor in Greece was having some problems and they were trying to work an alternate source. They eventually did. Themselves.

They started producing their own "Mediterranean Style" yogurt. It was just as good if not better than the FAGE stuff. And now FAGE has sorted out its problems and TJ's carries both. It's pure bliss for a yogurt lover.

April 20, 2005

Sideways

SidewaysI finally saw Sideways last night. I had wanted to see it on the big screen when it came out, but I'm actually glad that I waited until last night. That's because if I saw it in the theater, I wouldn't have had a great meal and a nice bottle of wine in front of me. I wouldn't have had steamed artichokes with melted butter. I wouldn't have had seared ahi tuna. I wouldn't have had a baby green salad with blue cheese crumble and balsamic vinaigrette. And I wouldn't have had a bottle of Bonny Doon Big House, nor would I have been able to share it with my friend Jennifer. It was the perfect way to watch the movie.

For the record, I thought Sideways was great. It made me laugh out loud, and it wasn't just because of the wine. I enjoyed the repartee between Miles and Jack. Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church had great chemistry and even though they are so different, you could easily buy into their friendship, especially described by Miles, "I'm not Jack, I'm just his freshman roommate from San Diego State." That just struck a chord for me about the randomness of relationships.

I sense that I am like a lot of guys who related completely to Miles, but secretly wanted to relate to Jack. Miles was a sad and pathetic loser, and I'm not a sad pathetic loser (yet), but there were elements of his character that I see in myself. There's very little of Jack that I see in myself except enjoying wines that taste good without having to understand every little facet of its production.

I'm very familiar with the landscape of the film. I can't count the number of times I've driven the 101 between northern and southern California, passing through the wine country between Santa Barbara and Paso Robles. Solvang and Buellton are incredibly cheesy, but you can't help love them.

Miles seems to fit into that setting perfectly. He's as comfortable around the vineyards as he is uncomfortable around women. His interactions with Virginia Madsen made me want to cringe because I've seen myself do some of the same things. I've even looked at myself in the mirror and said something like, you're such a fucking loser, under similar circumstances. But in the end, even though his novel is unpublished and his life is just as much of a wreck as his car, he is redeemed through the love of a good a woman. That's really any of us on the road to pathetic loserdom can hope for.

So Long, Chief

One of the great ones bowed out tonight. played his last regular season game for the Indiana Pacers after 18 stellar Hall of Fame seasons. Reggie was one of the greatest clutch shooter the games ever saw and probably the biggest underdog overachiever in the history of the game.

I love Reggie. Reggie played for UCLA when I was in High School, back in the days when I used to go to Pauley Pavilion every chance I could to see my Bruins. He was barely given a scholarship when he came out of Riverside, a 6'7" stick figure playing second fiddle to his older sister Cheryl who was winning championships across town at USC.

Those years were not great for the Bruins, but Reggie did led the team to the NIT Championship in his sophomore season. I can remember looking up at the banner, which seemed rather pathetic alongside so many NCAA championship banners, but it was something. Reggie averaged over 15 points a game that year, but he really turned it as a junior pumping in almost 26 a contest. He finished his career as the second leading scorer in school history behind only Kareem, and he would have scored much more if the NCAA instituted the 3 point line before his senior season.

Reggie was more than just points. He was about enthusiasm. He played defense like a possessed demon. He rarely missed free throws. He could shoot from anywhere in the building and would pour in rainbow jumpers that would bring down the house. Those were exciting, fun times for a young basketball fan.

When Reggie was drafted in the 1st round by the Indiana Pacers, I was crushed. I knew I wouldn't be seeing much of him, and I haven't except in the playoffs. Reggie played his whole career with the same team, such a rarity in today's game where free agency lures players from one team to the next. He never did lead the Pacers the promised land, but they were in the playoffs almost every year. And almost every year they would meet the Knicks.

In the Garden, Reggie would almost single handedly take on the Knicks and the crazies in the crowd. Who could ever forget Miller's most memorable moment, when he scored eight points in the final 8.9 seconds in Game 1 of the 1995 Eastern Conference semifinals and led the Pacers to an amazing come-from-behind 107-105 victory against New York at Madison Square Garden. Suck on that Spike Lee.

He's one of the most accurate free-throw shooters in league history at roughly 88.8 percent. He has played the sixth-most games in league history, with close to 1,400. He's 14th on the all-time scoring list with more than 25,000 points. He's drained the more 3's than anyone to play the game, ever.

He's nothing but ears and pencil legs and heart. He's an all around class act and he will be really, really missed. So Long, 31.

Pro Flickr in The Mutherfucking House, Yo!

Thanks to the incredible generosity of my online buddy Kelly in Virginia, I now have a which means I'm no longer limited to 100 pictures or three sets, at least for the next year. So I've got a lot of work to do, combing through my digital photos and scanning in film and slides (need to get a new scanner, too) to get my stuff online. Thanks, Kelly. You're the best.

Team of Destiny?

With the caveat that it's still April and the season is barely underway, I have to wonder what is going on with this Dodger team and where they are headed. Let's look at the record.

After tonight's come from behind extra inning game (the second in three games, I might add), the Dodgers are 12-2 having won 8 straight. That's still the best record in the MLB. That's not the whole story. I know no one cares, but that doesn't bother me at all.

The Dodgers have won every one of their series so far. They took 2 of 3 from the Giants, 2 of 3 from the Diamondbacks (both on the road) and have won every game since, including sweeps of the Padres, the Giants, and the Brewers, and now have won the first two games of the three game set in San Diego.

They are 4.5 games up on the Diamondbacks who won't be anywhere close to the top of the division when the season ends. They 5.5 up on San Diego and 6 big games ahead of the preseason favorite Giants, who were shutout by the Diamondbacks. The National League West, which looked so tight before the season is turning into a laugher.

J.D. Drew is coming around. Jose Valentin has stayed hot, driving in the winning runs with a 10th inning triple. The pitching is solid. Derek Lowe came away with a no decision tonight, but he only gave up one run on five hits to lower his ERA to 1.27. The staff is solid and is only going to get better in the next few weeks when Gagne returns to action.

In 1955 the Brooklyn Dodgers also started the season 12-2. That team won 22 of it first 24 games, won the pennant by 13 1/2 games and went on to finally break through in the series against the hated Yankees. Again, it's early, but these 2005 Dodgers are starting to show some of the same magic.

April 19, 2005

Kinder, Gentler Vatican?

My buddy Peter writes:

So, in an effort to reach out to new constituencies and bridge the growing divide between Catholic fundametalists and everyone else, the Vatican cardinals have elected... a hard-liner former Nazi. Nicely done, fellows.

It seems more like they were reaching out to John Stewart, David Letterman and Jay Leno. Anyway, he's an old guy so it looks like we might be do this all over again in the not too distant future.

The Pope is Dead, Long Live the Pope

A new pope has been elected. I'm listening to the coverage on NPR. The white smoke went up and the bells of St. Peter's started ringing about 50 minutes ago. The curtain on the balcony has opened. Three men are up there announcing the new pope. (Habemus Papum - We have a pope!) The crowd is going nuts. Still no one outside the College of Cardinals knows who the new pope is.

Update 9:44. The name of the new pope is the 78 year old Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany named Benedict XVI. The front runner, slighty boring, a little bit of a disappointment. Oh, well. There's always the next conclave. Congratulations and best wishes to all my Catholic friends.

Good Money is on the Nigerian to Win

Want to get some action on the ? Just head over to paddypower.com, check out the odds, the candidates, fill yourself in on the process and the history of papal elections.

Cardinal Francis Arinze of Nigeria is the front runner, but I suspect this is mostly wishful thinking. As cool as it would be to have an African or Latin American pope, I suspect when the voting is all done, we'll find a return to traditional Western European, if not Italian, pontiff.

As a Jewish atheist, I shouldn't find this all that interesting, but I can't help but be fascinated. The papacy is such a huge part of our world culture. There's even a genre of fiction devoted to the topic. The secrecy, the pomp and circumstance, the rituals of burning the ballots, the visuals of crimson robed cardinals congregating beneath Michaelangelo's Last Judgment. It's all so intriguing.

There have been several votes so far and only plumes of black smoke have arisen from the chimney of the Sistine Chapel to signify a lack of consensus on a new pontiff. Eventually the Papal Interregnum will end and we can get on with our lives, but in the meantime, the world waits as a few old men chose a new leader and decide on the future path of the Catholic church.

Here are the odds for you punters who are thinking of placing a bet or putting together an office pool.

Francis Arinze (Nigeria) 7/2
Joseph Ratzinger (Germany) 11/2
Claudio Hummes (Brazil) 7/1
Dionigi Tettamanzi (Italy) 7/1
Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga (Honduras) 9/1
Jean-Marie Lustiger (France) 9/1
Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini (Italy) 12/1
Cardinal Angelo Scola (Venice) 20/1
Cardinal Walter Kasper (Germany) 20/1
Count Christoph von Schoenborn (Austria) 25/1
Jorge Mario Bergoglio (Argentina) 25/1
Jose Da Cruz Policarpo (Portugal) 25/1
Cardianl Ruini (Italy) 33/1
Cardinal Amigo Vallejo (Spain) 33/1
Cardinal Francisco Javier Errazuriz Ossa (Chile) 33/1
Giovanni Battista Re (Italy) 33/1
Ivan Dias (India) 33/1
Keith O Brien (Scotland) 33/1
Cardinal Dario Castrillion Hoyos (Colombia) 40/1
Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone (Italy) 40/1
Geraldo Majella Agnelo (Brazil) 40/1
Godfried Daneels (Belgium) 40/1
Angelo Sodano (Italy) 50/1
Attilio Cardinal Nicora (Roman Curia) 50/1
Cardinal Karl Lehnmann (Germany) 50/1
Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada) 50/1
Cardinal Marco Ce (Italy) 50/1
Cardinal Varkey Vithayathil (India) 50/1
Cormac Murphy-OConnor (UK) 50/1
Ennio Antonelli (Italy) 50/1
Jaime Lucas Ortega y Alamino (Cuba) 50/1
Norberto Rivera Carrera (Mexico) 50/1
Wilfred Napier (South Africa) 50/1
Cardinal George Pell (Australia) 66/1
Cardinal Severino Poletto (Italy) 80/1
Crescenzio Sepe (Italy) 80/1
Lopez Rodriguez (Dominican Republic) 80/1
Silvano Piovanelli (Italy) 80/1
Aloysius Ambrozic (Canada) 100/1
Archbishop Andre Vingt-Trois (France) 100/1
Archbishop Baltazar Enrique Porras Cardozo (Venezuela) 100/1
Archbishop Tadeusz Kondrusiewicz (Russia) 100/1
Bernadin Cardinal Gantin (Benin) 100/1
Cardinal Desmond Connell (Ireland) 100/1
Cardinal Edward Cassidy (Australia) 100/1
Cardinal Edward Clancy (Australia) 100/1
Cardinal James Francis Stafford (Roman Curia) 100/1
Cardinal Joachim Meisner (Germany) 100/1
Cardinal Jorge Medina (Roman Curia) 100/1
Cardinal Jose Saraiva Martins (Roman Curia) 100/1
Cardinal Julian Herranz (Roman Curia) 100/1
Cardinal Justin Rigali (USA) 100/1
Cardinal Keeler (USA) 100/1
Cardinal Lubomyr Husar (Ukraine) 100/1
Cardinal Peter Turkson (Ghana) 100/1
Cardinal Renato Martino (Italy) 100/1
Cardinal Ricardo Maria Carles Gordo (Spain) 100/1
Cardinal Rodolfo Quezada Toruno (Guatemala 100/1
Cardinal Salvatore De Giorgi (Italy) 100/1
Cardinal Sergio Sebastiani (Roman Curia) 100/1
Cardinal Telesphore Placidus Toppo (India) 100/1
Cardinal Thomas Williams (NZ) 100/1
Cardinal Turcotte (Canada) 100/1
Diarmuid Martin (Ireland) 100/1
Emmanuel Milingo (Zambia) 100/1
Giacomo Biffi (Italy) 100/1
Ignace Cardinal Daoud, (Roman Curia) 100/1
Jean Louis Pierre Tauran (Roman Curia) 100/1
Jose María Rouco Varela (Spain) 100/1
Josip Bozanic (Croatia) 100/1
Juan Luis Cipriani (Peru) 100/1
Michele Giordano (Italy) 100/1
Miloslav Vlk (Czech Republic) 100/1
Philippe Barbarin (France) 100/1
Sean Patrick OMalley (USA) 100/1
Theodore McCarrick (US) 100/1
Vinko Puljic (Bosnia and Herzogovina) 100/1
Agostino Cacciavillan (Italy) 125/1
Bishop John Magee (Ireland) 125/1
Bishop Joseph Zen Ze-Kiun (China) 125/1
Cardinal Armand G. Razafindratandra (Madagascar) 125/1
Cardinal Audrys Juozas Backis (Lithuania) 125/1
Cardinal Emmanuel Wamala (Uganda) 125/1
Cardinal Francis Eugene George (USA) 125/1
Cardinal Ghattas (Egypt) 125/1
Cardinal Jean-Baptiste Pham Minh Man (Vietnam) 125/1
Cardinal Julio Terrazas Sandoval (Bolivia) 125/1
Cardinal Michael Michai Kitbunchu (Thailand) 125/1
Cardinal Polycarp Pengo (Tanzania) 125/1
Cardinal Roger Etchegaray (Italy) 125/1
Pierre Cardinal Sfeir (Lebanon) 125/1

April 18, 2005

Don't Look Now

my_blood_041805.jpgI know that no one who comes to this site cares one wit about the Los Angeles Dodgers, and that's fine, but I care, and for a good reason, so I'm going to write about them. If you have a problem with that, go away.

I grew up in LA, and I'm a sports fan, so naturally, I follow the Dodgers. But it goes deeper than that. It's in my blood. Literally.

My dad was born in Brooklyn in 1936. Like most kids in that era, he was a huge baseball fan. He loved the Dodgers. He used to sneak in to Ebbets Field with his buddies as a kid. Then the Dodgers up and moved from Brooklyn and relocated in Los Angeles in 1958. My dad was 22. He followed the Dodgers west to Southern California soon after.

My dad grew up in the age of radio. He didn't see ballplayers on TV all the time. There was no Superstation. There was no ESPN. The players were like gods. I used to imagine what it was like for my dad to go to Ebbets Field on the day of the game. Tons of people streaming into the stadium, he and his friends with no money desperate to get just a glance at the players, sneaking peaks through the outfield fence. It must have been amazing.

I got some of the sense of what it must have been like last week when I went to see the Dodgers playing the Giants at SBC Park a few weeks back. I left for the game early. I took BART across the bay and walked from downtown to the stadium. Out in right field, there's a section outside the park where fans without a ticket can look on and see the action. I had heard about it. I had seen it from inside the stadium, but I had never been there myself.

As I was walking around the stadium, I could look in through the right field fence and see the Dodgers taking batting practice. I stopped by the fence and watched Eric Gange and Derek Lowe shagging fly balls and talking to fans. They looked like giants to me. I looked down at the grass which looked so perfect and so green. The chalk was perfect. Even the dirt on the warning track was perfect. Fans were hanging out in the right field stands begging the players for a ball or an autograph. I thought immediately of my dad and his friends back at Ebbets Field in the late 40s.

Ok. On to current matters at hand. When I wrote about the Dodgers last Friday, they were 6-2 with the best record in the National League. Over the weekend they swept the Padres including two shutouts by Lowe and Weaver and at 9-2, now have the best record in baseball and are off to their best start since 1955. Now I'm not saying they are going to win the World Series or anything. They haven't won a playoff series since I was a freshman in college in 1988, but things are looking good for a decent season.

I was watching Sportscenter last night, and I was shocked that there was no coverage of the Dodgers. None. They didn't even make the show. Yankess. Yes. Red Sox. Yes. Nationals and Marlins and Phillies and Mets, but no Dodgers. No reporting on the best team in the game. Talk about your East Coast bias.

Have you ever sexual intercourse with someone of Eastern European descent who has had a blood transfusion in Sub-Saharan Africa administered by someone who spent more than 3 months in the UK between October 14, 1977 and March 8, 1981?

my_blood_041805.jpgOk, so they don't really ask questions that specific when you donate blood, but they get pretty close and pretty damn personal. I understand the need to be thorough to ensure a safe blood supply. That I get. What I don't get is after you have answered the questions, the ARC volunteer tech gives you a sheet of paper with two barcode stickers, one if you want them to use your blood, one if you don't. You're supposed to place the sticker of your choice on the answer sheet after the tech walks away.

It just seems strange to me that someone would go through the process of answering all these questions, lie about the answers, put the "don't use my blood sticker on the form" and then have their blood drawn, wasting valuable time and resources of the blood bank. The need for confidentiality is great, but this seems like taking it a little too far. And obviously it's being used, or the Red Cross would stop giving people the option.

April 17, 2005

You Ruin Your Laundry

Since I had a good idea that Russell and I were going to be only people up at the house this weekend, I decided it was time to pick up all the clothes that have lined my bedroom floor or been stuffed in the closet up to Tahoe and run them all through the washing machine. I brought four bags of laundry. Russell was laughing at me when I jammed them all in the Pig, but, fuck it, I couldn't pass up this opportunity to clean and purge.

So we get up here, move all the bags into the house and I start running loads. The first load goes fine, but I use up the last of the laundry powder. When I put the second load it, I just grabbed the plastic bottle and started pouring it on top of my clothes before I looked at the label. As I was pouring, I noticed the word "Bleach" prominently featured on the label. Fuck!

I tried to wash of the bleach under the flume of water streaming down on the clothes, but to no avail. Large white and magenta spots started to appear all over the clothes. Sigh. I just ran the load and just planned to deal with it when it was all dry.

There were a few causalities, a few shirts I liked, a pair of khakis from the Gap, some sheets, but nothing in there was less than 5 years old and in general, my wardrobe is pretty dated. I haven't bought much in the way of clothes since I got back from Samoa which means that most of what I wear is at least two years old. Some it dates back to college.

So it's probably time to rid myself of some of these old duds anyway and if it takes a laundry room mishap to force my hand, so be it.

April 16, 2005

And the House Was Empty

Russell and I drove up to Tahoe in his "pig" of car, a circa 1980s Jeep Cherokee. We figured the house would be empty since no one other than us RSVP'd, but it was still a shock to arrive at the house around 9:30, see no cars in the driveway and without anyone there to greet us. No one drinking beer. No one cracking jokes or telling stories. No one sitting around the fire playing games. No one. Eerie.

There was no snow on the ground. The same driveway that I spent an hour shoveling the previous Saturday was clean as a whistle. There was no snow on the grass, little on the balcony and there was a clear path in the backyard through the snow pack to the dock. A week of 50 degree afternoons had seen to that.

We slapped together a dinner of chicken and veggie curry, watched a movie(The Player), and crashed, me in a bedroom for only the second time all season.

In the morning, we awoke to clear skies and the rising sun. It was going to be a scorcher. We took out time, lingering over a lengthy breakfast of chicken apple sausage and cheddar scramble. There's not much point in hitting the hill too early after a hot day because the snow which melted the previous afternoon, freezes into a cement-like consistency overnight. It's best for the knees and any other body part that might come in contact with the mountain (like my melon) to wait until the middle of the morning when the surface has softened up somewhat.

We arrived at Heavenly around 10. The place was an empty as the house. We geared up, took the tram to the top of Gunbarrel and made our way up the hill. On the first run, Russell who had a mishap last week when one of Ed's friends plowed into in him, took a nasty digger and was done for the day. I was bummed. I wasn't going to stop skiing. It was too good, but it's always more fun to ski with someone, especially someone like Russell who's much better than I am and pushes me around the hill.

We planned to meet up at 1:30 at the California Bar and Russell downloaded, and I took off. There mountain was empty. The were no lift lines anywhere. I skied all over the mountain. Run after run after glorious run. It was hot. I was skiing in a t-shirt and a Samoan shirt. I skied from California to Nevada, back to California, to Nevada again and finally back to California. I was all over the place. The snow was soft and a little sticky in the flat spots towards the bottom, but it was nothing but fun.

Around 1:15, I was getting ready to head down to the California Bar to meet Russell for lunch. The snow was getting really soft. I made a command decision to go down the face of Gunbarrel instead of taking the cat track Roundabout. Roundabout is the easiest way down, and it's fun to wind around the face, but when it's hot, the coverage can be bag with exposed roots and rocks and it was going to be sticky. On the other hand, Gunbarrel was a straight mogul laden shot down to the lodge. But today, the mogul would be soft and forgiving and if there was ever a time I was going to hit Gunbarrel, this would be it, so I made the plunge.

It's steep and bumpy, but it was no problem really because a lot of the moguls had been flattened out by previous skiers. I cruised down with no problem, right until the end that is. I was right on top of the little run called World Cup that is adjacent to an eponymous lift and forms the last section of run linking Gunbarrel to the base. I was one turn away from the top of World Cup when I lost my balance and went down, instinctively putting my gloveless hand down on the snow, this snow which seemed oh so soft when I was skiing on it ripped through the back of my hand, turning my knuckles into a bloody mess.

It didn't hurt because my hand spot-numbed when it hit the snow and it actually looked pretty cool to have blood streaming from the back of my hand as I strolled into the California Bar.

Days Skied This Season: 22

April 15, 2005

Surprise, Surprise

Ok, I know it's early, but the Dodgers are kicking ass. In fact, they have the best record in the National League, not bad for a sutured Frankenstein of team. They are 6-2. They are not going to win 75% of their remaining games, but if they can win somewhere between 1/2 and 3/4s, they will shock the hell out of me and finish over .500.

The Dodgers have played 3 series so far and won them all. The bested the Giants in SF 2 out of three (I went to game 2 of that series and saw the boys in blue pummel the Giants 10-4). They went to take 2 of 3 from the Diamondbacks. Then the Dodgers came home and swept the Giants in a modest 2 game home opening stand. Still. The Dodgers have taken 4 out 5 from the hated Giants who are expected to win the division. We'll see about that.

Even better these wins have come with the Dodgers' best player, Eric Gagne on the shelf with a bum elbow, and top acquisition J.D. Drew has only 4 hits in 32 ABs, a paltry .125 clip. That certainly will not continue. Jeff Kent is also not going to hit over .400 for the season, but he's hot and so are Jose Valentín and Cesar Izturis. These three along with some solid pitching from Jeff Weaver and Odalis Perez have propelled the Dodgers to this start. Will it continue? Who knows, but it's better to start slow and fade then never to start at all.

Mr. Taxman, Can You Hear Me?

I'm done with my taxes, federal and California, and in the nick of time. I don't usually leave it to the last minute like this, it's such a headache when you do, but there was some things that I had trouble tracking down, and I had no other choice.

I did most of the leg work weeks ago, but the whole picture didn't materialize until yesterday when I ran down to my local Scottrade office to open an IRA. In typical Andrew fashion, it was only when I left the office after finishing the paperwork and writing a huge check ($3,500) that I realized that the maximum allowable is only $3,000. So I had to run back there today during lunch.

It's done now. $3,000 in the tank for the next 25 years. Hopefully it will grow through the glory of compound tax-free interest and, with the addition of some more cash through the years, and a few 401K contributions here and there, maybe, just maybe, I won't die a pauper, although that possibility looms large what with all the presidential bamboozlepalooza business going on.

Anyway, my total federal tax refund, after the sizeable IRA contribution, is 8 bucks. That's right. 8 bucks. Now I've always held that it's better to owe on the 15th because when the IRS writes you a refund check, you've essentially given the government a tax free loan from the time the taxes were collected to the time you refund check clears. So based on that, I'm pretty thrilled with my miniscule refund. On the other hand, it would be nice to be getting a fat check and go on shopping spree, for the purposes of helping out the American economy through conspicuous consumption, naturally. Since that's not happening, I just have to the satisfied that I don't have to write a check to Uncle Sam.

Makelani & Filemu

mak_fil_040805.jpg

April 13, 2005

Greek Naming Challenge

If you were to name an information related project with a Greek name from mythology, history or literature, what would you call it? I initially thought of Hermes, the God of Information, but that's too obvious. It should be something far more obscure and much cooler sounding, so Athena or Atlas will not work either. I thought of Delphi, which might, but I'm not convinced. Maybe Perseus? Sophocles? Daedalus? Morpheus? Orpheus? Any help?

April 12, 2005

Life No Longer Worth Living

Cost Of Living Now Outweighs Benefits


WASHINGTON, DC - A report released Monday by the Federal Consumer Quality-Of-Life Control Board indicates that the cost of living now outstrips life's benefits for many Americans. American Living

"This is sobering news," said study director Jack Farness. "For the first time, we have statistical evidence of what we've suspected for the past 40 years: Life really isn't worth living."

To arrive at their conclusions, study directors first identified the average yearly costs and benefits of life. Tangible benefits such as median income ($43,000) were weighed against such tangible costs as home-ownership ($18,000). Next, scientists assigned a financial value to intangibles such as finding inner peace ($15,000), establishing emotional closeness with family members ($3,000), and brief moments of joy ($5 each). Taken together, the study results indicate that "it is unwise to go on living."

[MORE]

Gawd, how I love The Onion. It makes life worth living. So sweet is irony.

April 11, 2005

Ooh, Flavored Water

Today after I took a shower, I caught Mak drinking the water out of the shower door track. It was so disgusting, but there he was, slurping it up like nobody's business. I thought maybe their water bowl was empty, but when I went to check it, the bowl was half full. I topped it off with fresh, filtered water, put Mak in front of it and he would not drink. He just squirmed away. He's not working with a full deck.

April 10, 2005

You Couldn't Pay Me Enough

You Couldn't Pay Me Enough
There's not enough money in the world to pay me to jump into Lake Tahoe when there's snow on the ground. But Hans only needed 10 bucks and whole lot of peer pressure to take a running leap off the dock at the back of the house into the frigid lake.

April 09, 2005

More Snow: The Season That Wouldn't Die

More Snow: The Season That Wouldn't Die
At a time when most ski resorts in the northern hemisphere are winding down operations for the season, snow continues to dump on the Sierras, 14 inches in the last 24 at Heavenly to be exact. The season officially ends May 1st (extended from mid April), but they could keep the mountain open until June or even later. The base at Heavenly is still 144 inches. 12 feet of snow. Amazing.

Kristen and I caught a ride up with Russell and everyone else up this weekend is headed for Kirkwood, so we're waiting for the shuttle. It's a good deal, three bucks each way with door to door service. It will take to any of the lodges, but we'll probably head for the gondola which comes down right into town at Stateline.

The snow is still falling, but very lightly, barely visible. The sky is leaded gray in places, but it's banded and the sun peeks through patches of blue sky now and again. And there's no wind to speak of. You can check it out on the Heavenly Web Cams. It should be an epic day. I hope you have as much fun as I'm going to be having in about an hour.

April 08, 2005

Mak Hanging On For Dear Life

Mak Hanging On For Dear Life
I moved the kitty condo in front of the window and now they can sit on it and peer outside. Before they wouldn't touch it. Now it's their favorite play thing. Why didn't I think of that earlier?

April 06, 2005

Going to the Game

I'm heading across the bay tonight to catch the Dodgers/Giants game. I haven't been to the ballpark in years and I'm really looking forward to it. Kristen, one of my housemates in the Tahoe house, who's dad is Dave Wallace, the pitching coach for the Boston Red Sox. Before he joined the Sox he was a long time employee of the Dodger organization. So Kristen grew up a Dodger fan and her blood runs as blue as mine. And the tickets, not incidentally, are gratis. It's definitely not what you know.

Back when I lived in Burlingame, south of the city, I used to take the CalTrain up to PacBell (now SBC) park whenever the Dodgers were in town. One of the last games I caught, way back in April of 2001, Barry Bonds crushed his 500th home run deep into McCovey Cove off Dodger reliever Terry Adams. The Dodgers lost that game, as they've lost almost every game I've seen them play in San Francisco. At least tonight they won't have to face Bonds, who's on the DL nursing a bad knee.

I'd rather Bonds were in the lineup. As much as he is maligned my the media and treated ambivalently by the fans, Bonds is still the most exciting player in the game. There is no one I would rather watch at the plate, against my Dodgers or anyone else. Hopefully he'll heal up, get back in the game and give us baseball fans the thrills we deserve.

Whatever a Man Never Has, He Never Misses

I just finished reading , Sam Keith's presentation of Dick Proenneke's Alaskan Journals. I caught the PBS special, Alone in the Wilderness back in March, and quickly became enamored with the Proenneke world. I picked up the book at the library. With a few notable exceptions, the book pretty much reads like a transcript of the documentary. Proenneke's words, like his lifestyle, are very simple. You won't find any metaphor or simile or clever turns of phrase. But you will find straightforward, honest writing from a modern mountain of Emersonian self-reliance. It's very impressive. In fact, the whole book is a commentary on the evils of materialism. Here's how Proenneke sums it up in his Reflections section.

Needs? I guess that is what bothers so many folks. They keep expanding their needs until they are dependent on too many things and too many other people. I don't understand economics, and I suppose the country would be in a real mess if people suddenly cut out a lot of things they don't need. I wonder how many things in the average American home could be eliminated if the question were asked, "Must I really have this?" I guess most of the extras are chalked up to comfort or saving time.

This is the exact same sentiment embodied by Tyler Durden in Fight Club when he tells Jack (just before they pummel each other for the first time), "The things you own, they end up owning you."

I don't know about you, but I feel trapped by the things I own. My books. My music. My furniture. And now my cats (although, truth be told, they really do own me). I had to pay for a storage place when I was in the Peace Corps. And now my things don't quite overwhelm me, but they keep me pinned down, unable to make the decisions I want, to do the things I want, when I want.

It's a choice I've made to sacrifice the some of the mobility of my past on the altar of stability. We'll see how long it lasts, probably as long as I'm responsible for the Samoan Fighting Kittens, which could be a long, long time.

April 05, 2005

As Editors, We Had No Business Being Persuaded by Mountains of Evidence

Okay, We Give Up

There's no easy way to admit this. For years, helpful letter writers told us to stick to science. They pointed out that science and politics don't mix. They said we should be more balanced in our presentation of such issues as creationism, missile defense, and global warming. We resisted their advice and pretended not to be stung by the accusations that the magazine should be renamed Unscientific American, or Scientific Unamerican, or even Unscientific Unamerican. But spring is in the air, and all of nature is turning over a new leaf, so there's no better time to say: you were right, and we were wrong.

In retrospect, this magazine's coverage of so-called evolution has been hideously one-sided. For decades, we published articles in every issue that endorsed the ideas of Charles Darwin and his cronies. True, the theory of common descent through natural selection has been called the unifying concept for all of biology and one of the greatest scientific ideas of all time, but that was no excuse to be fanatics about it. Where were the answering articles presenting the powerful case for scientific creationism? Why were we so unwilling to suggest that dinosaurs lived 6,000 years ago or that a cataclysmic flood carved the Grand Canyon? Blame the scientists. They dazzled us with their fancy fossils, their radiocarbon dating and their tens of thousands of peer-reviewed journal articles. As editors, we had no business being persuaded by mountains of evidence.

Moreover, we shamefully mistreated the Intelligent Design (ID) theorists by lumping them in with creationists. Creationists believe that God designed all life, and that's a somewhat religious idea. But ID theorists think that at unspecified times some unnamed superpowerful entity designed life, or maybe just some species, or maybe just some of the stuff in cells. That's what makes ID a superior scientific theory: it doesn't get bogged down in details.

Good journalism values balance above all else. We owe it to our readers to present everybody's ideas equally and not to ignore or discredit theories simply because they lack scienfically credible arguments or facts. Nor should we succumb to the easy mistake of thinking that scientists understand their fields better than, say, U.S. senators or best-selling novelists do. Indeed, if politicians or special-interest groups say things that seem untrue or misleading, our duty as journalists is to quote them without comment or contradiction. To do otherwise would be elitist and therefore wrong. In that spirit, we will end the practice of expressing our own views in this space: an editorial page is no place for opinions.

Get ready for a new Scientific American. No more discussions of how science should inform policy. If the government commits blindly to building an anti-ICBM defense system that can't work as promised, that will waste tens of billions of taxpayers' dollars and imperil national security, you won't hear about it from us. If studies suggest that the administration's antipollution measures would actually increase the dangerous particulates that people breathe during the next two decades, that's not our concern. No more discussions of how policies affect science either - so what if the budget for the National Science Foundation is slashed? This magazine will be dedicated purely to science, fair and balanced science, and not just the science that scientists say is science. And it will start on April Fools' Day.

- THE EDITIORS

Ouch. While you're absorbing that beat down of the irrational right, have a look a Krugman's article on why there are so few consevatives in academia.

April 04, 2005

The Best Game Ever?

Maybe not, but it's a damn good game. There's 2:32 to go. Illinios just tied North Carolina for the second time after being down 15 early in the second half. If Illinois pulls it will be the biggest choke/best comeback ever. Damn. Here we go.

UPDATE: 1:04 left to play. Time out. Illinios has the ball and is down by one. They continue to live by the three. If they can sinking shots from behind the arc, they are going to win. If not, the Tar Heels will hang on.

UPDATE*: 50 seconds left. Time out again. Illinois ball down by three. The Illini keep setting monster screens and getting its sharpshhoters open for 3. They just can't hit.

UPDATE**: 25 seconds left. NC up 2. Felton on the line with the double bonus. Illinois have been stingy with the bal,but just gave up a steal. Felton hit one of two. UNC up by three. Time out. Illinois will be coming out of the TO gunning for a trey.

UPDATE***: Trouble for Illinois. They can't make a three despite good looks. UNC back at the line. It's now a two possession game with less than ten seconds to play. Roy Williams has had to sweat this one big time, but looks like he's finally going to win the big one. Time out. UNC up by 5, 75-70.

UPDATE****: It's all over. What a game. Incredible heart from the Illini just to make it close. They never did take the lead in the second half, but what an effort. What an awesome performance by Sean May. He's a man among boys. Williams, such a class act, finally has his championship. Congrats to all those folks who support the Heels.

Kaplan on Kaplan

I'm exhausted. I'm dying to go home and put my ass in bed and my head on a feather pillow. This is only partially because of the slow death march alcohol fueled spring forward shortened debauchery of Saturday night. It's mostly because I could never catch up on sleep on Sunday. I'm guessing I slept about 3 hours on Saturday night. That's a generous estimate. I tried to sleep in, but I was sleeping on a futon on the floor of the living room. So when anyone else in the house is up and light is streaming through the picture window, you're up. I tried to get out of Tahoe in the early afternoon so I could go home and sleep, but traffic sent me back to house. I tried to nap back at the house, but a few others were turned back by the traffic and I couldn't get to sleep. When I finally did go home, all I wanted to do was sleep, but I made a huge mistake and turned on the TV. That's when I saw Robert Kaplan being interviewed on CSPAN's Book TV. I had to watch.

Kaplan is one of my heroes, a god in the extremely exclusive pantheon of travel writers that includes Paul Theroux, Bill Bryson, Eric Newby, Bruce Chatwin, Jan Morris and Robert Byron. I first discovered him when I was staying at small guesthouse in southern Cambodia just after 9/11. They had a copy of and I ate it up. Good travel writing always has a context. It's not simple reporting of place. For Jan Morris, it's language. For Bill Bryson, it's humor. For Paul Theroux, it's literature. And for Robert Kaplan, it's history. If you are at all interested in the history of the world around us, and appreciate great travel literature, you will love Robert Kaplan. That is, you will love his words. If you see an interview with him, you will understand quickly.

The Book TV In-Depth series is excellent. They sit down with an author for a 3 hour interview. So when they say in-depth, they mean it. I caught only the last hour or so. I was mesmerized. Kaplan was brilliant. He seemed to have his finger on the pulse of any place any of the callers asked about. But, and this was really disappointing, he came off as a humorless, know it all dick. I lost a lot of respect for him after seeing him take questions. People would call up with really complicated questions and before they could get to the end, Kaplan would interrupt them by saying, "I can answer that". Then he would go off and pontificate about this country or that region. His information was fascinating, but the style left a lot to be desired. He was like that kid who sits in the front row of class, and shoots his hand in the air the second the teacher asks a question. Sort of like Tracy Flick from Election. The man is obviously brilliant. No one is going to deny that, but where's the damn humility? It's not like this guy is in his 20s. He's almost 50. It was strange. I hope that it was his relative inexperience being interviewed like that, the guy travels constantly, that lead to nervousness, that lead to hyperagressive responses. Anyway, I was tired. I probably should have just put my ass to sleep.

Alternatives for Today's Teens

Growing up in the Culture of Life astinance only education dominated America has its drawbacks, but one website offers alternatives for teenagers: Techinal Virgin.com

We know that today's teens are faced with difficult choices more than ever before. The spectre of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted teen pregnancy looms large in the social lives of all modern adolescents.

Teenagers today need new choices that reflect the reality of their complex lives. Abstinence is often preached by the self-righteous right-wing pundits, but that's simply not a realistic approach to teen sexuality. To hear the fundamentalist right, you'd think even masturbation would lead to the end of civilization.

But there is a way for youths to enjoy rich and satisfying sexual intimacy without risking unwanted pregnancy - ANAL SEX! The anus, tighter than any vagina and tinged with the thrill of the taboo, is the perfect venue for modern teen lust.

Ok, so it's satire, but it's spot on and really well done. You have to watch the public service announcements. If they don't make you laugh out, there's something seriously wrong with you.

Play Ball!

It's a great time of year to be a sports fan in America. The NCAA finals are tonight. The two top teams in the land, Illinois and North Carolina are going to face off in what should be an epic clash. Then there's baseball. The season officially got underway yesterday with the Boston Red Sox visiting Yankee stadium, but today is officially . Fans all over the country are coming out of hibernation and getting geared up for the long haul.

I think it's going to be a strange season. For one thing we have this shroud of steroids that has befallen our national past time. This scourge, and the coverage of it is going to color everything that happens this season. This season. This fucking season. This season when was supposed to pass Babe Ruth and maybe even Hank Aaron to become the game's home run king. Instead Bonds is recovering from knee surgery and appears to be in self-imposed exile hiding from the ever increasing media coverage that threatens to expose his past steroid use while celebrating him a possibly the greatest player ever to put on the uniform.

Then there's the new . While I'm sure the residents of DC, including my brother, are thrilled to have baseball back in the nation's capital (where it belongs), it was done at the expense of the Montreal Expos. The Expos are really of no major significance. They never did much. The only season where they were clearly the best team was strike shortened and the World Series, which they likely would have won, was cancelled. They were hardly supported by local fans in Montreal and played their homes games in the nearly empty Olympic Stadium. Clearly, the city could not support a major league team. But moving the Expos to DC leaves only one team outside the US, the . In a game increasing played by people from Japan, South Korea, Australia, Panama, Cuba, Venezuela, Mexico, amongst other places, it seems ironic to contract the number of international teams in half.

As always, my focus will be on the Dodgers. From where I sit in Northern California, it looks like it's going to be a long season for the boys in blue. There were too many changes in the offseason. The heart of soul of the team, Paul LoDuca, Shawn Green and Adrian Beltre have been shipped out in favor of head cases like J.D. Drew and Jeff Kent. The pitching looks a little thin to me as well and the team's best player, Eric Gagne starts the team on the DL with nagging injuries. I want them to win, but I'll be happy if I can take in a game or two and listen to the classic dulcet tones of Vin Scully describe the action.

The have a payroll over 200 million and a all-star starting at every position. With all respect to the World Champion Red Sox, the Yanks are going to roll up the AL East and probably the Series as well. Who out there can challenge them? The (The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim %$#&!)? The ? The ? The ? The ? I'm not seeing it. If stays healthy he could win 25 games. He anchors a staff that includes Mike Mussina, Carl Pavano Jaret Wright and oft-injured but awesome Kevin Brown. They are backed up, as ever by Mariano Rivera. He had a rough go against the Sox in the ALCS, especially in game 4 when he was unable to shut the door, but he'll be back and with something to prove.

I'll won't watch too many games. I can't handle the day to day minutiae the way I could as a kid. But I will follow the greater trends of the season and it should, as always, be very interesting.

A Crisis is a Terrible Thing to Waste

There seems to be a perfect storm brewing in the world at the moment.

First we have this oil situation, real or manufactured, that is going to have long term ramifications to the US economy and threatens the quality of life that Americans have enjoyed in the last half of the 20th century. If gas prices continue to rise and the analysts at Goldman Sachs are right and we'll see $105 price tag on a barrel of oil, the petroleum based economy that we have is going to crack. Lots of people are going to fall into those fissures.


Then you have Tom Friedman writing about the new realities of globalization with his thesis that the world is increasing flat, that there exists now an almost level technological playing field on which the US is slowly but surely being pushed to the sidelines as India and China ramp up both educationally and economically. While India and China are educating their people at higher rate, graduating more engineers and computer scientists, America is an education decline, falling behind in the sciences, in math, in just about everything but law. The shortfall that had existed was previously filled by importing students and their PhDs from, most notably India and China, but increasing security concerns that keep some of the best talent at home and the level playing field that ameliorates the need for educated elites to migrate to the US for employment opportunities is creating a tipping point where the balance of educational and economic power is shifting east.

Then there is this small story about library closings in Salinas that I wrote about last year and the NYT has picked up today. Salinas might be a no account small town in central California that no one would pay much attention to if it were not the hometown of John Steinbeck, but what's going on there represents on a micro scale the consequences of decisions that we as a country have been making on a global scale.

At the same time that India and China are improving access to communication pipelines that empower their populace in this increasing globalized world, Salinas is shutting down its libraries, severing critical access to information that is the key to economic prosperity and a hallmark of a healthy democracy. This is not a strategic decision. I'm sure that the politicians in Salinas are not making this choice lightly. However their hands are tied. They have a multi-million dollar budget shortfall and economic reality is forcing them to make this incredibly difficult decision. While this might now be happening only in this small farming community, you can bet your Euros that this library necrosis will be coming to a city near you, and soon.

It's very easy to look at this situation as say, well, America had a nice run, we're going to go into a long, slow decline that has befallen all the great civilizations at one time or another. And that will happen if people do nothing. And there's a good chance that people will do nothing.

I look at this moment as a great opportunity for American to take the reigns of the world and lead, however, I don't believe that our increasingly corrupt and entrenched politicians have the will to make the decisions and the sacrifices to affect change and challenge the country on the issues of education, technology and consumption.

If we don't make education our number one priority. If we don't fix our public education system. If we continue to graduate illiterates from our high schools. If the cost of education continues to rise. If we let our libraries be mothballed. If we do nothing about this crisis, then we will go into that decline, the pace of which will be inversely proportional to our lack of ability to recognize and fix this massive problem.

UPDATE: Yahoo! is on the trail of gas prices in South Lake Tahoe. Take a look at this . Look familiar! The prices might have changed (gone up, of course) but the place remains the same.

April 03, 2005

Springing Forward, Slowly

I was only half joking when I told a coworker I was going to Tahoe for the weekend, but I didn't think I would ski much. It turned out to be right on. I skied about two hours on Saturday and not at all on Sunday.

I got up there at 11pm on Friday. There were a few cars in the driveway, but when I came inside the whole house was slumbering. I plugged in, turned on the TV and settled in for the Papal Death Watch.

In the morning, a few people headed off for Kirkwood, but I sat around with the kitchen table with Kristen, a Catholic, and Russell, a determinist atheist, to talk about religion, faith and the existence of god. It was just the sort of conversation I suspect many people are having in the wake of the unfortunate Schiavo business and the passing of the pontiff.

It was sunny and beautiful outside, and the snow was meant to be really good, so there really was no excuse for wasting the day away, but it's the end of the season and we've all gotten tons of great ski days in. About 11:30, Kristen and I took off for Heavenly, parked at the Stagecoach Lodge in Nevada and skied for about 2 hours. It's part of the beauty of having a season pass that lets you ski as long you want without any guilt.

That night five of us in the house decided to go out. We had one drink at a place called Whiskey Dick's but decided to leave because they wanted to charge us a 5 dollar cover (there was a band coming on later) if we wanted to keep drinking. We left and drove to Meyers to the Divided Sky where a acid jazz band was playing very loud and the bourbon was flowing very fast. By the time we left around midnight, I had four or five drinks, and for a lightweight like me, that's a serious amount.

When we got home around 1 in the morning, we did some serious damage to the house bar. Ed was mixing his eponymous drink which is OJ, Malibu and cherry juice. Sounds sweet and it is, but they go down way, way too easy. We killed off a bottle of Malibu and a lot of vodka and ended up in the hot tub where I stayed until I could see blue sky peeking from behind the clouds. Both my body and my brain were completely pickled.


I woke in the morning to a mild hangover and a serious snowstorm. The sky was white. Flurries were blowing all over the place. We had lost an hour, and no one had the will to ski. We took a few hours to recover and then went out to Heidi's for a massive cholesterol laden breakfast.

Back at the house, we cleaned up (it was a fucking mess after the debauchery of the previous night), packed up and hit the road around 1 with the idea that we'd all meet at the Connecticut Yankee in SF to watch the Red Sox-Yankee game. But almost everyone in Tahoe must have had the same idea. The road out was jammed up. It could have been the traffic. It could have been an accident. It could have been the fresh snow. Whatever it was, I didn't want to sit it. I pulled up to the others and told them I was turning around.

I was back at the house for less than 5 minutes, when the front door opened and Ed came up the stairs. He was quickly followed by Russell and Kristen. They all had decided they weren't going to make it to the city in time for the game. Russell who's from Vermont and Kristen who's dad is the pitching coach for the Sox, are livelong die hard fans. They weren't going to miss the game for traffic.

We had a few hours to kill before game time so we watched American Beauty and ordered a couple of pizzas. The game started. The Sox looked good at first, hanging in there with the Yanks, but Randy Johnson settled down and the Sox collapsed. I left after the 5th inning because I wanted to get most of the icy and windy Highway 50 behind me before darkness fell.


Days Skied This Season: 19

April 01, 2005

On the Papal Death Watch

I hope I'm not the only one who finds the 24 hour news media's uberobsession with the slow death march of his Excellency morbid. Do we really need papal kidney failure updates on the hour? His passing will hopefully put an end to death week here in America. I hope the pope passes soon and that his suffering is minimized.

I do feel for this pope and his many followers around the world. I might be anti-religionist and an atheist, but that doesn't mean I don't respect this man. Quite the contrary. Pope John Paul II was a man of great charisma and while I don't agree with many his decisions, most notably his hard line on birth control which is especially disturbing considering so many of his constituents live in over populated AIDS ravaged countries, I respect him as person who brought great solace to many people in this world. He's also been an incredible traveler and his facility with languages is simply remarkable.

Like many people of my generation, he's the only pope we've ever really known. The images I have of him in my mind most center around him traveling around the US in the or being "reported" on by Father Guido Sarducci. I also remember his visit to Yad Vashem in Israel and his apology, albeit tepid, for the holocaust.

Most of what I know about the selection of a new pope comes from Dan Brown's Angels & Demons. I'm going to be following the succession closely because I can't help but be fascinated by these machinations of the church. What happens after the pope passes away is that all the eligible cardinals and there are close to 200 of them, lock themselves in the Vatican in a Conclave, basically inside the Sistine Chapel. The cardinals stay in there until they elect a pope.

I don't know how many of you have been inside the Sistine Chapel. It's small. I'd love to be a fly on the wall following the intrigue and diplomacy as upwards of 200 old men maneuver to enthrone a new pope. It's one of those things that most of the people in the world will never be privy to, which makes it all the most fascinating.

Personally, not that I have any real interest here, but I would love to see a pope from Africa, South America or the Philippines where the great majority of Catholics live. However, I suspect that the new pope will be from Italy or another Western European country and probably be equally or more conservative than his predecessor.

But that's all besides the point. To all my Catholic friends and any Catholic readers who happen by this post, I extend my greatest condolences in this moment of loss and I hope for future of a peace and prosperity.

More Fun With Flickr

I've been playing around with Flickr for a few weeks now. I haven't added any new pictures since I reached my limit of 100 with the free site. But it has rekindled my interest in digitally archiving all my photos. I'll probably sign up for a premium account when I find a slide scanner than I want to buy.

In the meantime, I've been cruising Flickr looking at other folks pictures. There's some really good stuff out there. One of the things I like is that users can add "tags" or keywoords to each photo so that they are searchable and can be grouped. You can do searches on a particular tag through the Flickr site or you can use the handy and very cool Flickr Related Tag Browser. Just type in a keyword and see what comes up.


You can find information about how the site was built here.

The End of Oil or Notes to Clueless Nation

There's an interesting article Rolling Stone called
The Long Emergency by James Howard Kunstler about the coming peak in oil production that will signal the start of the long decline of our petroleum based economy. The article is somewhat alarmist and seems to posit a future where the great innovators in this world will not be able to find a suitable replacement for our energy needs, which I doubt will happen. However it is an interesting read and brings up a number of good points, notably that something needs to be done and the sooner we get started the better. (Thanks, as always, to Jason to forwarding this along.)

The Long Emergency

What's going to happen as we start running out of cheap gas to guzzle?
By JAMES HOWARD KUNSTLER

A few weeks ago, the price of oil ratcheted above fifty-five dollars a barrel, which is about twenty dollars a barrel more than a year ago. The next day, the oil story was buried on page six of the New York Times business section. Apparently, the price of oil is not considered significant news, even when it goes up five bucks a barrel in the span of ten days. That same day, the stock market shot up more than a hundred points because, CNN said, government data showed no signs of inflation. Note to clueless nation: Call planet Earth.

Carl Jung, one of the fathers of psychology, famously remarked that "people cannot stand too much reality." What you're about to read may challenge your assumptions about the kind of world we live in, and especially the kind of world into which events are propelling us. We are in for a rough ride through uncharted territory.

It has been very hard for Americans -- lost in dark raptures of nonstop infotainment, recreational shopping and compulsive motoring -- to make sense of the gathering forces that will fundamentally alter the terms of everyday life in our technological society. Even after the terrorist attacks of 9/11, America is still sleepwalking into the future. I call this coming time the Long Emergency.

Most immediately we face the end of the cheap-fossil-fuel era. It is no exaggeration to state that reliable supplies of cheap oil and natural gas underlie everything we identify as the necessities of modern life -- not to mention all of its comforts and luxuries: central heating, air conditioning, cars, airplanes, electric lights, inexpensive clothing, recorded music, movies, hip-replacement surgery, national defense -- you name it.

The few Americans who are even aware that there is a gathering global-energy predicament usually misunderstand the core of the argument. That argument states that we don't have to run out of oil to start having severe problems with industrial civilization and its dependent systems. We only have to slip over the all-time production peak and begin a slide down the arc of steady depletion.

The term "global oil-production peak" means that a turning point will come when the world produces the most oil it will ever produce in a given year and, after that, yearly production will inexorably decline. It is usually represented graphically in a bell curve. The peak is the top of the curve, the halfway point of the world's all-time total endowment, meaning half the world's oil will be left. That seems like a lot of oil, and it is, but there's a big catch: It's the half that is much more difficult to extract, far more costly to get, of much poorer quality and located mostly in places where the people hate us. A substantial amount of it will never be extracted.

The United States passed its own oil peak -- about 11 million barrels a day -- in 1970, and since then production has dropped steadily. In 2004 it ran just above 5 million barrels a day (we get a tad more from natural-gas condensates). Yet we consume roughly 20 million barrels a day now. That means we have to import about two-thirds of our oil, and the ratio will continue to worsen.

The U.S. peak in 1970 brought on a portentous change in geoeconomic power. Within a few years, foreign producers, chiefly OPEC, were setting the price of oil, and this in turn led to the oil crises of the 1970s. In response, frantic development of non-OPEC oil, especially the North Sea fields of England and Norway, essentially saved the West's ass for about two decades. Since 1999, these fields have entered depletion. Meanwhile, worldwide discovery of new oil has steadily declined to insignificant levels in 2003 and 2004.

Some "cornucopians" claim that the Earth has something like a creamy nougat center of "abiotic" oil that will naturally replenish the great oil fields of the world. The facts speak differently. There has been no replacement whatsoever of oil already extracted from the fields of America or any other place.

Now we are faced with the global oil-production peak. The best estimates of when this will actually happen have been somewhere between now and 2010. In 2004, however, after demand from burgeoning China and India shot up, and revelations that Shell Oil wildly misstated its reserves, and Saudi Arabia proved incapable of goosing up its production despite promises to do so, the most knowledgeable experts revised their predictions and now concur that 2005 is apt to be the year of all-time global peak production.

It will change everything about how we live.

To aggravate matters, American natural-gas production is also declining, at five percent a year, despite frenetic new drilling, and with the potential of much steeper declines ahead. Because of the oil crises of the 1970s, the nuclear-plant disasters at Three Mile Island and Chernobyl and the acid-rain problem, the U.S. chose to make gas its first choice for electric-power generation. The result was that just about every power plant built after 1980 has to run on gas. Half the homes in America are heated with gas. To further complicate matters, gas isn't easy to import. Here in North America, it is distributed through a vast pipeline network. Gas imported from overseas would have to be compressed at minus-260 degrees Fahrenheit in pressurized tanker ships and unloaded (re-gasified) at special terminals, of which few exist in America. Moreover, the first attempts to site new terminals have met furious opposition because they are such ripe targets for terrorism.

Some other things about the global energy predicament are poorly understood by the public and even our leaders. This is going to be a permanent energy crisis, and these energy problems will synergize with the disruptions of climate change, epidemic disease and population overshoot to produce higher orders of trouble.

We will have to accommodate ourselves to fundamentally changed conditions.

No combination of alternative fuels will allow us to run American life the way we have been used to running it, or even a substantial fraction of it. The wonders of steady technological progress achieved through the reign of cheap oil have lulled us into a kind of Jiminy Cricket syndrome, leading many Americans to believe that anything we wish for hard enough will come true. These days, even people who ought to know better are wishing ardently for a seamless transition from fossil fuels to their putative replacements.

The widely touted "hydrogen economy" is a particularly cruel hoax. We are not going to replace the U.S. automobile and truck fleet with vehicles run on fuel cells. For one thing, the current generation of fuel cells is largely designed to run on hydrogen obtained from natural gas. The other way to get hydrogen in the quantities wished for would be electrolysis of water using power from hundreds of nuclear plants. Apart from the dim prospect of our building that many nuclear plants soon enough, there are also numerous severe problems with hydrogen's nature as an element that present forbidding obstacles to its use as a replacement for oil and gas, especially in storage and transport.

Wishful notions about rescuing our way of life with "renewables" are also unrealistic. Solar-electric systems and wind turbines face not only the enormous problem of scale but the fact that the components require substantial amounts of energy to manufacture and the probability that they can't be manufactured at all without the underlying support platform of a fossil-fuel economy. We will surely use solar and wind technology to generate some electricity for a period ahead but probably at a very local and small scale.

Virtually all "biomass" schemes for using plants to create liquid fuels cannot be scaled up to even a fraction of the level at which things are currently run. What's more, these schemes are predicated on using oil and gas "inputs" (fertilizers, weed-killers) to grow the biomass crops that would be converted into ethanol or bio-diesel fuels. This is a net energy loser -- you might as well just burn the inputs and not bother with the biomass products. Proposals to distill trash and waste into oil by means of thermal depolymerization depend on the huge waste stream produced by a cheap oil and gas economy in the first place.

Coal is far less versatile than oil and gas, extant in less abundant supplies than many people assume and fraught with huge ecological drawbacks -- as a contributor to greenhouse "global warming" gases and many health and toxicity issues ranging from widespread mercury poisoning to acid rain. You can make synthetic oil from coal, but the only time this was tried on a large scale was by the Nazis under wartime conditions, using impressive amounts of slave labor.

If we wish to keep the lights on in America after 2020, we may indeed have to resort to nuclear power, with all its practical problems and eco-conundrums. Under optimal conditions, it could take ten years to get a new generation of nuclear power plants into operation, and the price may be beyond our means. Uranium is also a resource in finite supply. We are no closer to the more difficult project of atomic fusion, by the way, than we were in the 1970s.

The upshot of all this is that we are entering a historical period of potentially great instability, turbulence and hardship. Obviously, geopolitical maneuvering around the world's richest energy regions has already led to war and promises more international military conflict. Since the Middle East contains two-thirds of the world's remaining oil supplies, the U.S. has attempted desperately to stabilize the region by, in effect, opening a big police station in Iraq. The intent was not just to secure Iraq's oil but to modify and influence the behavior of neighboring states around the Persian Gulf, especially Iran and Saudi Arabia. The results have been far from entirely positive, and our future prospects in that part of the world are not something we can feel altogether confident about.

And then there is the issue of China, which, in 2004, became the world's second-greatest consumer of oil, surpassing Japan. China's surging industrial growth has made it increasingly dependent on the imports we are counting on. If China wanted to, it could easily walk into some of these places -- the Middle East, former Soviet republics in central Asia -- and extend its hegemony by force. Is America prepared to contest for this oil in an Asian land war with the Chinese army? I doubt it. Nor can the U.S. military occupy regions of the Eastern Hemisphere indefinitely, or hope to secure either the terrain or the oil infrastructure of one distant, unfriendly country after another. A likely scenario is that the U.S. could exhaust and bankrupt itself trying to do this, and be forced to withdraw back into our own hemisphere, having lost access to most of the world's remaining oil in the process.

We know that our national leaders are hardly uninformed about this predicament. President George W. Bush has been briefed on the dangers of the oil-peak situation as long ago as before the 2000 election and repeatedly since then. In March, the Department of Energy released a report that officially acknowledges for the first time that peak oil is for real and states plainly that "the world has never faced a problem like this. Without massive mitigation more than a decade before the fact, the problem will be pervasive and will not be temporary."

Most of all, the Long Emergency will require us to make other arrangements for the way we live in the United States. America is in a special predicament due to a set of unfortunate choices we made as a society in the twentieth century. Perhaps the worst was to let our towns and cities rot away and to replace them with suburbia, which had the additional side effect of trashing a lot of the best farmland in America. Suburbia will come to be regarded as the greatest misallocation of resources in the history of the world. It has a tragic destiny. The psychology of previous investment suggests that we will defend our drive-in utopia long after it has become a terrible liability.

Before long, the suburbs will fail us in practical terms. We made the ongoing development of housing subdivisions, highway strips, fried-food shacks and shopping malls the basis of our economy, and when we have to stop making more of those things, the bottom will fall out.

The circumstances of the Long Emergency will require us to downscale and re-scale virtually everything we do and how we do it, from the kind of communities we physically inhabit to the way we grow our food to the way we work and trade the products of our work. Our lives will become profoundly and intensely local. Daily life will be far less about mobility and much more about staying where you are. Anything organized on the large scale, whether it is government or a corporate business enterprise such as Wal-Mart, will wither as the cheap energy props that support bigness fall away. The turbulence of the Long Emergency will produce a lot of economic losers, and many of these will be members of an angry and aggrieved former middle class.

Food production is going to be an enormous problem in the Long Emergency. As industrial agriculture fails due to a scarcity of oil- and gas-based inputs, we will certainly have to grow more of our food closer to where we live, and do it on a smaller scale. The American economy of the mid-twenty-first century may actually center on agriculture, not information, not high tech, not "services" like real estate sales or hawking cheeseburgers to tourists. Farming. This is no doubt a startling, radical idea, and it raises extremely difficult questions about the reallocation of land and the nature of work. The relentless subdividing of land in the late twentieth century has destroyed the contiguity and integrity of the rural landscape in most places. The process of readjustment is apt to be disorderly and improvisational. Food production will necessarily be much more labor-intensive than it has been for decades. We can anticipate the re-formation of a native-born American farm-laboring class. It will be composed largely of the aforementioned economic losers who had to relinquish their grip on the American dream. These masses of disentitled people may enter into quasi-feudal social relations with those who own land in exchange for food and physical security. But their sense of grievance will remain fresh, and if mistreated they may simply seize that land.

The way that commerce is currently organized in America will not survive far into the Long Emergency. Wal-Mart's "warehouse on wheels" won't be such a bargain in a non-cheap-oil economy. The national chain stores' 12,000-mile manufacturing supply lines could easily be interrupted by military contests over oil and by internal conflict in the nations that have been supplying us with ultra-cheap manufactured goods, because they, too, will be struggling with similar issues of energy famine and all the disorders that go with it.

As these things occur, America will have to make other arrangements for the manufacture, distribution and sale of ordinary goods. They will probably be made on a "cottage industry" basis rather than the factory system we once had, since the scale of available energy will be much lower -- and we are not going to replay the twentieth century. Tens of thousands of the common products we enjoy today, from paints to pharmaceuticals, are made out of oil. They will become increasingly scarce or unavailable. The selling of things will have to be reorganized at the local scale. It will have to be based on moving merchandise shorter distances. It is almost certain to result in higher costs for the things we buy and far fewer choices.

The automobile will be a diminished presence in our lives, to say the least. With gasoline in short supply, not to mention tax revenue, our roads will surely suffer. The interstate highway system is more delicate than the public realizes. If the "level of service" (as traffic engineers call it) is not maintained to the highest degree, problems multiply and escalate quickly. The system does not tolerate partial failure. The interstates are either in excellent condition, or they quickly fall apart.

America today has a railroad system that the Bulgarians would be ashamed of. Neither of the two major presidential candidates in 2004 mentioned railroads, but if we don't refurbish our rail system, then there may be no long-range travel or transport of goods at all a few decades from now. The commercial aviation industry, already on its knees financially, is likely to vanish. The sheer cost of maintaining gigantic airports may not justify the operation of a much-reduced air-travel fleet. Railroads are far more energy efficient than cars, trucks or airplanes, and they can be run on anything from wood to electricity. The rail-bed infrastructure is also far more economical to maintain than our highway network.

The successful regions in the twenty-first century will be the ones surrounded by viable farming hinterlands that can reconstitute locally sustainable economies on an armature of civic cohesion. Small towns and smaller cities have better prospects than the big cities, which will probably have to contract substantially. The process will be painful and tumultuous. In many American cities, such as Cleveland, Detroit and St. Louis, that process is already well advanced. Others have further to fall. New York and Chicago face extraordinary difficulties, being oversupplied with gigantic buildings out of scale with the reality of declining energy supplies. Their former agricultural hinterlands have long been paved over. They will be encysted in a surrounding fabric of necrotic suburbia that will only amplify and reinforce the cities' problems. Still, our cities occupy important sites. Some kind of urban entities will exist where they are in the future, but probably not the colossi of twentieth-century industrialism.

Some regions of the country will do better than others in the Long Emergency. The Southwest will suffer in proportion to the degree that it prospered during the cheap-oil blowout of the late twentieth century. I predict that Sunbelt states like Arizona and Nevada will become significantly depopulated, since the region will be short of water as well as gasoline and natural gas. Imagine Phoenix without cheap air conditioning.

I'm not optimistic about the Southeast, either, for different reasons. I think it will be subject to substantial levels of violence as the grievances of the formerly middle class boil over and collide with the delusions of Pentecostal Christian extremism. The latent encoded behavior of Southern culture includes an outsized notion of individualism and the belief that firearms ought to be used in the defense of it. This is a poor recipe for civic cohesion.

The Mountain States and Great Plains will face an array of problems, from poor farming potential to water shortages to population loss. The Pacific Northwest, New England and the Upper Midwest have somewhat better prospects. I regard them as less likely to fall into lawlessness, anarchy or despotism and more likely to salvage the bits and pieces of our best social traditions and keep them in operation at some level.

These are daunting and even dreadful prospects. The Long Emergency is going to be a tremendous trauma for the human race. We will not believe that this is happening to us, that 200 years of modernity can be brought to its knees by a world-wide power shortage. The survivors will have to cultivate a religion of hope -- that is, a deep and comprehensive belief that humanity is worth carrying on. If there is any positive side to stark changes coming our way, it may be in the benefits of close communal relations, of having to really work intimately (and physically) with our neighbors, to be part of an enterprise that really matters and to be fully engaged in meaningful social enactments instead of being merely entertained to avoid boredom. Years from now, when we hear singing at all, we will hear ourselves, and we will sing with our whole hearts.

Adapted from The Long Emergency, 2005, by James Howard Kunstler, and reprinted with permission of the publisher, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.
(Posted Mar 24, 2005)

This is Not A Joke

This is Not A Joke
What more can I say about this picture? I think Fil might have a chemical imbalance or she's going stir crazy from being under house arrest for a year half. Clearly she's not right in the head. Either that or she's mistaken me for a very large cat. I probably would have been laughing uncontrollably, but since this happens every morning now, I'm just mildly amused.


But This Is

This guy has some serious balls and this woman is completely fucking nuts.