December 29, 2003

New Year's Eve

This New Year's is going to be rather sedate, I'm afraid. There's not much happening here in Sedona, Arizona. I'm going to be at home with a close friend and it's going to be very low key. We'll just have some great food and a good bottle of champagne to see in the new year.

I don't know if it's a testament to the capricous nature of my life or the fact that I've been lucky enough to travel around a bit, but I haven't spent New Year's in the same place twice in a row since I was in college. This is where I've been for the last ten New Year's Eves:

2002 - Apia, Samoa
2001 - Rio de Janiero, Brazil
2000 - San Francisco, CA
1999 - An island in the middle of the Nile, South of Aswan, Egypt
1998 - Puerto Angel, Mexico
1997 - Buckhead, Atlanta, GA (working at Cafe Tu Tu Tango)
1996 - Santa Cruz, CA
1995 - Los Angeles, CA
1994 - Bangkok, Thailand
1993 - Melbourne, Australia

I highly recommend Rio for New Year's. There's nothing in the world like the party that's thrown at Copacabana. At least nothing I've seen.

Happy New Year!

Posted by andrew at 09:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

December 28, 2003

"I Think I Have Your Cat" or The Top Ten Reasons Fil is Trying to Escape

Once again I got a call from a stranger this morning claiming to have my cat. And once again it turned out that they did have my cat, my wayward cat Fil. This time it was even further away, at 780 Sunshine which is down the way along Arrowhead, a street that deadends right across from the house.

Now, what the fuck is she doing? I have my theories. Here are the top ten:


10. She's thinking about making a run for city council and needs to press the flesh.

9. She's jealous of Toonces and is looking for a car to drive.

8. She's canvassing the neighborhood looking for suspicious characters and activity as one would under the current threat levels as outlined by the United States Department of Homeland Security. (She might be a Samoan national, but she's as patriotic as any new émigré).

7. She's trying to induce cardiac arrest in her human.

6. She's looking for the Northwest Passage.

5. She's making a run for the mall in Flagstaff before the after Christmas sales come to an end.

4. She's not thrilled with the carb levels Meow Mix and wants to go back on the Atkins Diet.

3. She's not happy about the prospect of spending a rocking New Year's Eve with Dick Clark.

2. She just wants me to get to know the neighbors.


And the number one reason Fil is Trying to Escape...

1. She’s trying to rendezvous with the mother ship.


That's all I can think of on short notice. Perhaps you have a better theory.

Posted by andrew at 12:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Anyone Can Win

I recently have been watching the World Poker Tour on the Travel Channel and the World Series of Poker on ESPN, and I have an admission to make. I never would have expected it, but I am totally enraptured watching poker on television.

Some would think this is about as exciting as watching television fishing, but it's a whole different kettle of fish.

There is litterally a ton of money on the line. In the WSOP last year there were over 800 contestants who antied up 10 grand each for a seat at the table. First prize is $2.5 million, a winner's share bigger than the Kentucky Derby, Wimbledon, Indianapolis 500 or any other competition on Earth. That's 2,500,000 dollars. For poker. Each of contests on the WPT has a slightly smaller purse, but the winners generally take home more than 500 grand which isn't exactly chump change.

There are also these great personalities. You have Johnny Chan who was made famous in the film Rounders (Edward Norton and Matt Damon) as the perfect player. He won back to back WSOP in 1987 and 1988. You have Scotty Nguyen who was born in Saigon during the war and is now the highest roller in the world. You have Phil Ivey, the Tiger Woods of Poker. There's David Ulliot from England, the so-called "Devil Fish". There's Phil Hellmuth Jr., the youngest player to win the world title and poker's bad boy. And there are tons of other interesting characters from all over the world. There are players from Denmark, Lebanon, Russia, Switzerland and every other place in between. You have guys you hate and want to see lose and guys you love and want to see to win.

In all these tournaments, they play a unique version of poker called No Limit Texas Hold'em. Here's how they play:

No Limit Texas Hold'em


Hole Cards: The game begins with all the players receiving 2 cards face-down. Each player can only see his or her own cards.

Betting Round 1

The Flop: the dealer lays 3 community cards face up on the center of the table. These are cards that the players can use with their own hand.

Betting Round 2

The Turn: The dealer deals a fourth community card on the table.

Betting Round 3

The River: The dealer puts one final community card on the table.

Betting Round 4

The Showdown: The players show their hands, and the best hand (which can be any combination of the 2 cards in the player's hand plus up to 3 of the community cards) wins.

Since there's no limit, any player at any time can bet all their chips or go "All In", as they say. Fortunes are made or lost in the blink of an eye. The wrong decison can be very costly while the right bet at the right time can create a legend.

When I first started watching, I was amused, but there seemed to be so much luck involved that the idea of competition seemed silly. The motto of the World Series of Poker is "Anyone Can Win". This is true to some extent. The last two winners were hardly professional players. But the truth is "Anyone can win" is really a sucker bet. Anyone can't really win. They want yoy to think that you can win so you'll enter, but you're really "Dead Money." You can't rely on luck to win these tournaments. There's so much skill involved, it' scary.

I know this because when you watch these tournaments, you see the same faces showing up in the final table all the time. There has to be something to that. Then there's the great reason to watch which turns these games into monumental psychological battles.

ESPN and the Travel Channel have cameras strageically placed on the table so that the viewers and the commentators can see the Hole Cards of the players. When you know what the players are holding while the players themselves only are aware of their own cards, you have a window into the minds of these people who have laid down hard earned to play this game.

It's really incredible to watch players bluff and act. You quickly notice that for whatever reason, the good players more often than not make the right decisions about how to play while the novices make mistake after mistake.

One thing is for certain. It beats the shit out of reality TV.

Posted by andrew at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

December 27, 2003

"Do You Own a Cat Named, Fil"?

Not once today, but twice the phone rang and on the other end was someone saying, um, do you own a cat named "Fil"?

Uh, why, yes I do. What seems to be the problem?

The first time it was the neighbor across the street. This is to be expected. It makes me incredibly nervous depsite the relative lack of traffic around these parts, but I've seen Fil cross the street on innumerable occasions. The second call was from someone half a block down Arrowhead street about 500 meters away from the house. This makes me worry.

I love the fact that Fil likes to explore. What else would you expect from such a cosmopolitan, jet-setting kitten? However two calls in one day and the second coming from so far away make me think that I need to put her under house arrest. I don't want to kill her spirit, but I can't think how I would feel If I lost her. I do have some idea.

When I went to pick up Fil from the the second neighbor, a woman named Tanya, she told me that one of her cats had died the other day and that Fil was just like an angel. Then she started crying. I felt horrible. I didn't know what to do or say. I fully empathized with her. And Fil is, indeed, an angel. But what can one say in that situation?

Posted by andrew at 11:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

December 26, 2003

If It's Boxing Day, It Must be Melbourne

I don't know what Boxing Day means to you (probably very little), but to me Boxing Day always means cricket in Melbourne, my adopted home town. Back in 1994 when I lived in Australia, I went to the Boxing Day Test against South Africa. Sadly, the match was washed out because of rain and the day I went to the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground, there were less than 1,000 people in the stands. It was an erie feeling. I had been in stadium for Australian Rules Football matches when close to 100,000 people had been jammed in the stands.

Anyway, I try to catch the Test every year no matter where I am, especially when Australia are playing England as they were last year. I couldn't pick up Radio Australia on my little shortwave from Samoa, (I wanted to smash the damn thing), but I followed the game on the Net as best I could.

This year Australia is playing India in the fight for the Border-Gavaskar Trophy. The first match in Brisbane was drawn. India won the 2nd match at the Oval in Adelaide by 4 wickets. With only one more match to be played early next year in Sydney, the Aussies really need to win in Melbourne to stay in the hunt. India are a quality team. Their Sachin Tendulkar is one of the best players in the history of the game. Then again, the Aussies are the world champs.

I wish nothing more than I can sit on the couch with six pack of Victoria Bitter and watch the thing. But there is no appreciation for the fine sport of cricket in this country, so there's no TV coverage, but I can listen on the Nine Network simulcast over the web. I'd be shocked if any of you had any interest in this, but if you want to listen, there's the link. Myself, I'm going to be taking in the ducet tones of Richie Benaud and the gang from Nine.


COME ON, AUSSIE, COME ON!!!!!

Posted by andrew at 07:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The Weather Outside...

I just rode the bike into town to pick up a dozen bagels (I got a dozen so I don't have to go back for a few days) and it's so damn cold my face felt like it was going to fall off.

If you take a look at the , you'll see some curious things (at least at 12:11 pm, mountain time). One is that the actual temperture, 25 degrees F, is below the "low" of 27 degrees. Maybe someone out there can explain that phenomenon to me. I don't get it. The other interesting thing to note is under the "More Current Conditions" where it says "Feels Like 10 degrees". That's chilly.

It was raining a little last night and some more this morning, but I did see some snow patches on the ground on the way to New York Bagels and Donuts. And there were a couple of cars covered in white stuff, but they might have come down from Flagstaff. Hopefully there will be some snow today. There are enough ominous looking clouds around to make me think it's very likely.

Posted by andrew at 12:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

December 25, 2003

Happy Birthday, Jesus

I'm usually not in the habit of offering birthday greetings to long dead rabbis, but I'll make an excpetion in this case, on this day. There are a couple of remarkable aspects about Christianity in general and Jesus in particular that have come to mind recently. So in the spirit of the season, it's sharing time.

The most important is that I look at all organized religion as brainwashing on a grandiose scale. Christianity is the worst offender. It is shocking to me how much of this religion is based on faith. Faith in the virgin birth. Faith in the ressurection. Faith that Jesus was white, with blond hair and blue eyes instead of what he most likely was, swarthy with dark brown eyes like everyone else born in the Middle East. Faith, especailly, that history's great charlatans, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are telling the truth.

I've seen the birth place of Mary in Jerusalem. I've been to Ephesus in Turkey where she died. I've ridden a bike around the Sea of Galilee where Jesus supposedly walked on water, turned loves in fishes, gave the Sermon on the Mount and all that. I've seen devout Christians bearing crosses up the via Dolorosa. I've climbed Mt. Sinai. I've walked into the depths of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. I've been to St. Peter's Cathedral in Rome and just about every major Christian site in Western Europe. It's impressive and moving, but at the same time incredibly disturbing.

So much evil has been done to so many in the name of Jesus and Christianity that makes me think that if "he" actually were the son of god, he would have come back a long time ago to put a stop to it, perhaps some time during the Crusades or the Inquisition.

What I wish on Jesus' birthday is that everyone one in the world would actually take a long hard look at the Ten Commandments and try to live by the dictums set therein. The world would be a much nicer place without all this coveting and killing.

Peace on earth and good will to men (and women)

Posted by andrew at 10:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

No Virginia, There Isn't a Santa Claus

This is what happens when geek (and probably Jewish) engineering students at places like Cal Tech and MIT have too much time on their hands. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Santa Claus - The Engineers Perspective

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them-Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.


Posted by andrew at 07:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

December 24, 2003

Winter Wonderland

This time of year, especially today, Christmas Eve, people around the world are inundated with Christmas carols. I've been spared it for the most part as I'm trapped here in Sedona and haven't been out to the mall. I'm also somewhat ambivalent being a Red Sea pedestrian, and all. However I do enjoy the occasional piece of Xmas music.

If you go down to your local record shop or pop onto Amazon, you'll find that almost every artist of note has produced a Christmas album, some somewhat amusing like Michael Bolton, others classic like Bing Crosby and a few absolutely brilliant like Nat King Cole. But for my money, it doesn't get any better than Ray Charles.

So this Christmas Eve, I will be spending part of the time downloading classic Christmas hits from Mr. Charles and others, including James Brown, Sinatra, Presley, maybe even Mathis (and anyone else that comes to mind).

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas!

Posted by andrew at 05:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

December 22, 2003

Can You Use That in a Sentence Please?

I just saw the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee on ESPN2 and I was struck by a couple of things that I thought I needed to share with y'all.

One is that there is probably not a single contestant among the 16 year old and under entrants in the bee who would score higher on the verbal section of the GRE than I just did.

Two is that there is high ratio of kids in the bee who will be thrown in lockers, tossed into garbage cans and otherwise humiliated during high school to those who will actually enjoy the secondary educational experience.

Three is that despite some incredibly challenging words in the competition such as pococurante (the winning word), lebhaft, voussoir, yamamai, guichet, rhathymia, peirastic and symphily (all of which, interestingly, show up as misspelled in MS Word), the contestants would have an easier time spelling these words than each other's last names.

Congrats to Sai Gunturi, the 2003 National Spelling Bee champ.

Posted by andrew at 11:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

A Quick User Guide to American Idle Under the Increased Terrorist Threat Level

A Quick User guide to American Idle Under the Increased Terrorist Threat Level
Now that former Governor Tom Ridge has raised the national terror alert level to "Orange" or high, up one level from elevated or "Yellow", here are some helpful tips to safe use of this website:

1. Report any suspicious posts or comments to the FBI
2. Arrive at the site several minutes before you intend to post, especially during the busy holiday season
3. Remove metal items from your pockets, take laptop computers out of luggage for inspection, take off coats and be prepared to remove shoes
4. Go about your business as usual

You can’t stop posting or commenting because of this. That gives them exactly what they would want. Security professionals at all levels are working to keep this website safe.

"Finally - no matter your faith or culture - now is the time of year for important celebrations. So, I encourage you to continue with your holiday plans. Gather with your family and friends and enjoy the spirit of this season. There is no doubt that we have a lot to be thankful for - not the least of which the opportunity to live in the greatest country in the world. It is a country that will not be bent by terror. It is a country that will not be broken by fear. But instead, we are a country blessed with a population marked by goodwill and great resolve. We will show the terrorists both this holiday season - goodwill toward our fellow men, readiness and resolve to protect our families and our freedom." Make sure to report any suspicious activity, especailly by your neighbors.

thanks,

The Management
American Idle


Information courtesy of Ready.gov, a service of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security

Posted by andrew at 09:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

December 21, 2003

13 Holiday Distinctions

This list is for my gentile friends who would like to know more about the subtle distinction between Christian and Jewish holiday celebrations. This list comes from my friend and former colleague in Samoa, Deb Miesing.

1. Christmas is one day, same day every year: December 25. Jews also love December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to movies and out for Chinese food, and Israeli dancing.

Chanukah is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever
that falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non-Jewish friend
asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult a calendar so we don't
look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a
donation from either the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher,
or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel (especially in Florida) or other
Jewish funeral home.

2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same
theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat.

3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, stereos.
Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, or the collected works of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.

4. There is only one way to spell Christmas.
No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukah, Chanukka, Chanukah, Hanukah, Hannukah.

5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends.
Their partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.

6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills.
Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous
electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy
crisis.

7. Christmas carols are beautiful. Silent Night, Come All Ye Faithful.
Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a party and
dancing the horah. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal brethren. And don't Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?

8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of
cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods. A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and onions. The home, as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.

9. Women have fun baking Christmas cookies.
Women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for
latkas on Chanukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages.

10. Parents deliver to their children during Christmas.
Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight
nights.

11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names
such as Mary, Joseph, and Jesus.
The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our
history.

12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth.
Jews think, Joseph, Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant,
you didn't sleep with her, and now you want to blame G-d.
Here's the number of my shrink."

13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more commercialized.
The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor holiday.
It makes sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur?
Forget about celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve
yourself for 27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest,
confess your sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family.
Tickets a mere $200 per person.


Happy Hannukah to all and to all a good night.


Posted by andrew at 11:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

December 20, 2003

We Must Protect This House

I was playing with Mak this afternoon and he was being his normal affectionate self. Then his ears perked up. His head was still. His eyes were glued on one of the trees down below the deck. He took off running after something, down through the trees and across the arroyo.

I saw him standing on the opposite side of the arroyo stalwartly chasing off the big long haired gray cat that lives across the way and whom I often see slinking around the property trying to get at Mak and Fil's food supply. I was shocked that Mak who is normally so mild mannered and silly could be so aggressive, at least towards another cat. I've seen him take swipes at the occasional dog, but almost all cats do that. It was nice to see him so protective of the property.

Posted by andrew at 04:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

December 19, 2003

Return from GRE

I'm back from my overnight GRE adventure in Tucson and I'm damn glad it's over. I don't mind taking tests. Sitting in front of the computer, writing essays and answering questions is no big deal. I feel like I've been doing this sort of thing for years. The stressful part is at the end of the end of the exam, when you get to choose whether you're going to keep your score or cancel it. When you choose to keep it, your score pops up on the screen immediately.

660 Verbal
700 Quantitative

That's it.

Before the score comes up there's a sense of foreboding doom. So many of the questions on the exam are so vague using words that will never appear in a newspaper or rarely, if at all, in literture with math questions that have no bearing on reality and are mostly worthless to comprehend. So even though I feel like I have a solid grounding in these subjects from what I think is a superb educational background, there is still a feeling of uncertainty before the scores hit the screen. When they do, I just scratch my chin, say ok and walk away. Despite the instant gratification of knowing I earned a decent score, it's very unsatisfying in some respects.

What I really want is to see the test and have a look at the questions I got wrong, though, sadly, I will never experience this. What's the point of taking a test like this and not learning from your mistakes? I don't really see the point of a test like this at all, unless it is to keep people who can't afford the outrageous fees (115 bucks) away from higher education.

One thing I did learn during this experience is that I never want to live in Tucson. It's horrible in the winter and I can only imagine what a hell hole it is in the summertime. I really need to get my tuchus out of Arizona and back to California where it belongs. Adios.

Posted by andrew at 11:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

December 18, 2003

GRE Blues

I've gone to Tucson to take the GRE. I'm not really worried or anxious about it. I look at it more as a challenge. In studying over the last week, it's really amazing how much I have forgotten since high school and how easy it is to remember it with a little review.

I took a practice exam with the software that ETS gave me. I finished the test in less than an hour and scored 690 verbal and 690 math. I need to do better if I hope to get into the schools I am applying to do, but like I said, I'm not overly worried.

Wish me luck.

Posted by andrew at 11:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

December 17, 2003

Mathis or Sinatra?

I recently saw Diner again, one of my favorite flicks and possibly the greatest work by director Barry Levinson, in his directorial debut, I might add. A great part of the genius of the film is the casting. It's perfect. The movie launched the careers of previously unknowns Steve Guttenberg, Daniel Stern, Mickey Rourke, Timothy Daly, Ellen Barkin and Paul Reiser. However, the tour de force performance is by a young Kevin Bacon in the role of Timothy Fenwick, jr. If you haven't seen this movie, go see it for Kevin Bacon. He's simply brilliant.

I leanred a interesting behind the scenes details when I watched the documentary on the DVD. The most incredible, though hardly surprising, is that the studio, Warner Brothers, didn't like the film. They didn't know what to do with it since Diner didn't really fall into any set genre of the time. The plot is of secondary importance the relationships between the characters. There are no really outcomes or conclusions or closure, per se. The focus instead is on the importance of relationships between friends, between family and between people and place. So Warner Brothers shelved the movie. It was only after Diner was given a rave review in the New Yorker, who had somehow gotten ahold of a print, that the studio was shamed into releasing the movie.

All you have to do is watch the trailier to realize that the studio had no idea what this film was all about. Their tag line for the flick is "Suddenly, life was more than french fries, gravy and girls." What the hell is that? Stupid idiots. It's amazing how grossly overpaid the incompetent idiots are who run major studios.

Of the many great conversations that take place in the film, the most memorable, and probably most pivotal to the theme, is the one where Modell (Paul Reiser) asks, who would you listen to if you were making out, Mathis or Sinatra?

No Question. Old Blue Eyes. Hands down.

If you haven't seen Diner, go down to the video shop and rent it. You can thank me later.

Posted by andrew at 06:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

December 16, 2003

Look Out Berkeley

Today, I woke up with a relief and a sense of well-being that I haven't experienced in the last two weeks or so. That's because my application to the Northgate School of Journalism at Berkeley is done and paid for. This application caused me so much trepidation, not because of anything involved or difficult but because the deadline of the 15th of December (for Fall 2004) was only about 10 days after I decided I was going to apply.

The most difficult part was getting letters of recommendation. It's not because I have trouble finding people to write nice things about me, although that's part of it, but because I had three particular people in mind and I was so committed to having them write for me that I didn't even contemplate the need for a backup just in case they couldn't come through (they all did). It's also difficult to ask busy people to compose an essay on your behalf during this incredible hectic time on the academic calendar. I felt uncomfortable asking anyone to do anything so important on such short notice. It was also the only part of the application process that was completely out of my hands. I could request transcripts, register for the GRE, write my essays, find work samples and fill out all the forms myself.

Anyway, it's over. At least the first application. I still have to decide where else I might apply. There are a number of schools with application deadlines that are furhter down the road from which I may choose. The front runners are University of Missouri. University of Texas. University of Michigan and Columbia, in no particular order.

Now all I have to do decide and then take the damn GRE.

Posted by andrew at 05:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

The Real Reason for the Ivasion of Iraq

We had a little dinner party the other night and I found out from one of the guests the real reason for the U.S. invasion of Iraq. I was surprised to discover that our motives were not the capture of Iraqi oil fields, nor the destruction of Weapons of Mass Destruction. We didn't go to Mesopotamia to rid Iraq of a cruel dictator nor to fight another battle in the endless War on Terror.

The real reason U.S. troops are in Iraq is because of the Ark of the Covenant. That's right. You heard correctly. The Ark of Covenant.

Remember the first Indiana Jones moive? They find the Ark. It then gets stolen by the Nazis who open the Ark only to have omnipotent spirits melt away their faces. At the end of the movie. The Ark is boxed up and stuck in some large warehouse.

Apparently, and this is going to be hard to believe for some of you out, there isn't a shred of truth in Spielberg's opus about the dashing archaeologist. The real truth is that the Ark is in Iraq and that the Americans are hunting for it. I only pray that we find it before the damn Nazis do. I hate them.

Posted by andrew at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

December 15, 2003

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Conspicuous Consumption

I saw a show the other day on HGTV about the Christmas decorations at White House, which are, as you might expect, elaborate and ostentatious. As I was watching teams of volunteers drags innumerable boxes of ornaments and trees arriving from Wisconsin and the executive pastry chef design monumental gingerbread houses and the White House florist directing groups of designers and the White House Plumber and the White House Carpenter similarly busy, I had a few thoughts.

One was, whatever happened to separation of church and state? The other was I can't believe not only how much money is being spent but how much time and effort is dedicated to turning the White House into a holiday wonderland. Laura Bush had the reigns and apparently there was no holding her back with the check book. It's all and good to have a massive Christmas decorating party when the econmoy is working, the deficit is under control and the budgets are balanced, but when we have no fiscal discipline, should we really be engaging in such conspicuous consumption?

Posted by andrew at 05:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

December 14, 2003

Where Were You When?

Today, with the apprehension of Saddam Hussein, was another landmark day. There are some events like these for whatever reason that I will always remember where I was. I have a notoriously poor memory, but these events stay with me always.

Capture of Saddam - Mom's House, Sedona, AZ
Death of Princess Di - Rose & Crown Pub, Atlanta, GA
OJ Verdict - My House, Santa Cruz, CA
OJ in Trouble - Superman Restaurant, Yogyakarta, Java, Indonesia
Start of the Gulf War I - Catullus & Horace Class, Cowell College Commons Room, UC Santa Cruz
Start of the Gulf War II - Peace Corps Office, Apia, Samoa
Death of King Hussein - On a Kibbutz in Arava, Israel
WTC Attack - My Apartment, Burlingame, CA
Kirk Gibson Home Run - Cowell College, UC Santa Cruz
Loma Prieta Earthquake (SF Quake '89) - On the beach, Capitola, CA
Challenger Disaster - My House, Los Angeles, CA

There are probably a few others, but these are the ones that come to mind as I write this. Can you remember where you were?

Posted by andrew at 07:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (1)

December 13, 2003

How Much is That Doggie in the Window?

I recently went up to Flagstaff, about 45 minutes north and 2000 feet above Sedona. I discovered this incredible pet shop called Animal Kingdom. They have puppy Weimaraners and Schnauzers and Boxers and Huskies and a probably a dozen other pure breds. Beautiful dogs, all.

I fell in love with this Akita. I've always had a special place for Akitas, but I had never seen a puppy before. This little guy was black and white, with coal black eyes and the cute pointy ears. The manager got him out the cage and let me play around with the pup for as long as I wanted. He was so friendly and so soft. Immediately, I started thinking about how the kittens would deal with a new friend, but this thought was summarily ended during a quick discussion I had with the manager after play time was over.

We were talking a little about Akitas. He said he owned two and they were fantastic pets, which I firmly believed. Then I asked him about the price tag. All it says on each on the cages on a yellow sticker that indicates the breed, is a monthly price you can pay for each dog. As in, you can have this doberman for as little as 45 dollars a month. It doesn't say how many months you'll be paying. (Probably the rest of your life, as it turns out).

The price tag on the Akita was a mere 1500 bucks. Ouch. I guess Mak and Fil were not going to get a new plaything until I get a job or win the lottery. To the credit of Animal Kingdom, that sum includes vet visits for 4 years and something akin to doggie insurance that says that if anything (genetic) happens to the dog, you can get a replacement, free of charge. I wonder if they can treat co-dependency?

Posted by andrew at 07:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

December 12, 2003

The Cat Who Came in From the Cold

You ever see those shows on the Discovery Channel or Nature on PBS where biologists are tracking animals using radio collars? I saw one recently about Jaguars in the so-called "Necklace" in Central and South America. This one biologist, Alan Rubenstein, a jewish guy from New York City of all places, was working diligently with national governments in the area to create a protected area for the Jaguars.

Part of his long time study was to keep track of the migration patterns of the big cats to better understand their environment. He did this with radio collars. He would go out with a team of trackers, they would find a large cat, shoot it with a tranquilizer and afix one of these collars.

Naturally, I'm thinking, I want to do this to my cats. Not because I want to tranquilize them. I've done that before. It's not much fun. But because I would love to see where they go when they're not around. I'm so curious how wide their meanderings take them.

This curiousity is intesntified whenever Fil doesn't come home at sunset and I have to go out looking for her, which is often. With a radio collar, I could pin her down in no time flat.

The other night, she didn't come home. Mak was inside with me. At about 9 o'clock I see this little face pop up at my window. It's her. I quickly go outside and snatch her out of the cold. As soon as I pick her up, I realize something is wrong. For one thing, she's growling at me, which she never does. For another thing, she's got all these rough spots on her tail which is normally smooth as silk.

As soon as I get her in the room I do a full inspection. She's got burrs and prickly things sticking out all over her body. The poor thing must have fallen into a cactus or something equally nefarious. I started pulling the burrs out of her body (there was a horrible one right at the base of her tail) and she continues to growl at me until I get them all out and then goes to skulk over in the corner and becomes very anti-social, which she has been ever since. She's never around during the day and the sleeps alone in the top of the garage at night, refusing to come down even with the offer of treats.

I feel horrible, because I think she's angry with me because I "caused" her so much pain by removing the burrs, but what could I do?

Posted by andrew at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

December 09, 2003

Little Cat Lost

Last night, Mak come in from the cold at the usual time, just before sunset, but there was no sign of Fil. This didn't surprise me or worry me. She's always been more independent and adventurous. Worrying about her does me little good anyway. She has always come home. But last night she didn't.

Even though it was about 20 degrees, I kept going outside, whistling for her until I felt like my lips were going to fall off and then back inside to watch Monday Night Football and warm up with a cup of tea. I thought I heard her in the bushes, but it was just a few javelinas, these wild pigs that live in the neighborhood and like to rustle around in my mom's pansies.

At halftime, I ventured further out. I heard a meow coming from across the arroyo behind the house, but I figured it was the neighbor's cat responding to my whistle. I grabbed the flash light anyway, hiked across the arroyo and through the bush to the neighbor's place and there was Fil, on top of a post on the stairs, well above the growling llhasa opsos below and obviously scared out of her wits. The neighbor came out, went up the stairs and snatched Fil from her perch.

I don't know how Fil even got into her yard because there's a protective angled fence around the whole thing to keep her animals in away from the coyotes that live alongside the javelinas.

When I woke up this morning and saw Fil moving around, I saw that she was favoring her left hind leg. I don't think she was attacked. She must have just injured herself climbing around. Poor little thing.

Posted by andrew at 11:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

December 08, 2003

The Weather Outside is Frightful...

The mercury has been dropping near freezing for most of the last two weeks so it was only a matter of time before the snow started to fall and yesterday we got snow flurries all morning. The snow was wet and there wasn't enough to stick, but it was beautiful to see it fall. I can't wait for the red mountains of Sedona to be blanketed in white snow. Should make for some great photographs. I also want to see how the cats react to it. Should be comical. I have this image of Mak chasing snow flakes across the lawn.

Posted by andrew at 09:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

December 05, 2003

Please Wait

I've been on hold with first Microsoft and now Dell trying to resolve what would seem to be a simple problem with this home network and that is how to synchronize Outlook Express so that my mom can use it on both of her computers.

I can't figure out how to do it. The guys at her ISP didn't know. The people who sell the networking hardware didn't know. Microsoft probably knows but wants to charge you for the pleasure of releasing that information. Dell has got me on hold waiting for the third time for someone who probably either won't know the answer or won't be able to tell me for some arcane reason. Before there was music, but now there's just this sterile female voice saying, "please wait" at periodic intervals. It's creeping me out.

I wasn't on hold once for the year I was in Samoa and it was a great, I mean fantastic treat. I hardly made any phone calls. I didn't even get a phone in my place until the end of June and then most of the calls I made were to my ISP. How long can a person stay on hold before the desire to rip the cord out of the wall and smash something with the phone overcomes my patience and my need to get at important and valuable information?

Posted by andrew at 04:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

December 04, 2003

Alexander Wept

Today has been sort of a milestone day. I haven't had as much time to think about as I would like since I've been running around like a madman dealing with things that are starting to put me in the mood of becoming a responsible human being again.

This day marks a third of a century for me (and, incidentally, my twin brother) on this wacky planet. This doesn't really mean much in concrete terms. All it means is that the Earth has traveled around the Sun 33 1/3 times since I popped out of the womb. But it also marks, barring unforeseen cirucmstance like being crushed by a bus or abducted by aliens, an end of the first third of my life.

Now, skeptics out there might say, Andrew, how can you know that you're going to live to be 100? Truthfully, I don't know, but it's a goal worth shooting for. I'm in decent health and modern medicine is such that I might even expect to live much longer.

But what's the point to all this? Could it be that I have too much free time at this point in my life and that's why I'm wasting time pondering something as capricious as time? I don't know.

Legend has it that after Alexander the Great conquered Mesopotamia, he wept because there were no more worlds to conquer. He died shortly afterwards at the age of 33. For me the opposite is true. At the age of 33, I have every world to conquer. And I'm not crying about it either.

Posted by andrew at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

December 03, 2003

End of a (short) Era

This is the message on the Blogshares home page:

BlogShares - Closed Down

Dear BlogShares players,

I am sorry to announce that BlogShares will not be reopening after the current technical difficulties are resolved. Currently, the database server is dead and looks to be for the next few days.

The latest system crash has highlighted to me that deliverying a fun, useful service for the BlogShares community requires an active operator and developer. As most of you are no doubt aware I've been neither for the past couple of months. That has led to a decline of quality service, new features and ultimately income for the site and it looked likely that there wouldn't be enough to pay for next month's hosting.

It's been an interesting and very rewarding nine months bringing a bit of entertainment to bloggers (and blog lovers). I'd like to thank especially all those people who donated money or their valuable time, those who became premium subscribers, those who worked on cool toys which made use of the fledgling API and all those who could be found on the forums and IRC channel. You turned a silly fun idea of a mad monkey coder in London into something worthy of the attention by thousands of bloggers and the press.

A special mention goes to Greg, Jay, Erika, Joe, Aine, James, Ashes, Morgaine, Patrick and Rob.

My goal with the project was always to embrace the power law and to provide a new way of highlighting blogs with a little bit of fun. I've been pleasantly surprised of how well it did and stupefied it did it for so long. Now, however, it is time to move on to other things. I'm sure you'll be hearing from me in the not so distant future. You can also find me at my perpetual home: monkeyx.com.

All the best,

Seyed Razavi.

I had a great time with Blogshares. I'm sorry to see it go.

Posted by andrew at 01:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Sedona or Disneyland?

Sedona or Disneyland?

One of these pics is from Disneyland and one is from Sedona. Can you guess which one?

Posted by andrew at 01:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

December 02, 2003

Small Victories

I finally got my mom's wireless network running. The last hurdle was being able to print from the laptop to the HP printer that's hooked up to the desktop. It was a monumental pain in the ass. At first I would print. The print job would be sent to the printer and out would come a blank page. This happened about half a dozen times before I discovered the solution. Sometime after midnight, I managed to get a test page printed.

This whole endeavor has been a hassle because the desktop runs Winows 98 while the laptop has Windows XP. It wouldn't be such a big deal except I don't know shit about XP, or networking for that matter. For a long time, the issue was that the desktop could see the laptop, but not vice-versa. I don't know exactly how I solved it. Some combination of removing and adding network components did the trick.

Then there was this whole printer thing. I couldn't get the right drver installed because XP isn't that smart. I had to trick it by installing a dummy printer with the right driver and the applying that driver to the network printer.

The thing is, this whole procedure would be relatively simple if Microsoft had some competition and was fored to make an operating system that actually works the way it's supposed to. Good thing the Bush Administration is all about busting monopolies and taking on big business to the benefit of the little guy, such as myself. I breath easier knowing they are behind me. I bet you do too.

Posted by andrew at 04:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

December 01, 2003

Ain't Nothing to Watch

Last night I went to the video store to pick up a few DVDs and I experienced a familiar sensation. There are so many crap movies on the shelves, I had a hard time finding something I wanted to dedicate two hours of my life to. I can't believe half this shit gets made let alone watched.

It's not that there are no good movies in the world. There are tons. They just seem to be pushed off the shelves by this crapola, Ernest goes here, Ernest goes there. American Psycho 2, endless aisles of shit flicks. Do these movies really need to be in the digital format? I don't think so. Let's leave these horrible movies on VHS where they belong.

Maybe there should be some body of film experts that determines whether or not a movie is fit to be released on DVD. Back to the Future 3 would certainly not make the list. This would spare us the trouble of sorting through this garbage.

I ended up renting Citizen Kane (because I haven't seen it in ages and I wanted to see something good) along with Bowfinger and Bringing Out the Dead, neither of which I have high hopes for.

Posted by andrew at 07:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)